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F*cking Right On » Estella

Posted by verne on May 7, 2006, at 1:03:37

In reply to Re: As they say in AA » AuntieMel, posted by Estella on May 6, 2006, at 22:58:45

I know I should go f*ck myself, but before I do, I just want to say your post is so f*cking TRUE it hurts.

Most of the babble "relationships" with the endearing little hugs and confessions of undying love, are NOT REAL. One misstep, one typo, and the "friendship" evaporates.

Sometimes I feel like a stand-up comic trying to keep the audience from leaving. If I'm not funny, entertaining, positive, helpful, educational, caring, or nice enough, they will leave.

Perhaps, the constraints of "civility" - this dance where one can smoothly cloak hate with civility and yet be blocked for less than smooth caring - encourages unrealness and disconnectedness. So it's about being SMOOTH not real.

We had our problems but at least I didn't pretend to like you - not that I disliked you. I just didn't share your passion about certain topics, so I gave you a wide berth. Perhaps, it was a case of two polarized paradigms with no way to connect. (I'm so full of it)

No hard feelings. I sort of like you now - for what it's worth - since I don't know either of us. Sorry I was a jerk when you were going through rough times. I seem fair-weather, but I was in the storm myself.

I'm tired and think it's time for me to go f*ck myself now.

Verne


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