Posted by Estella on May 7, 2006, at 1:18:47
In reply to F*cking Right On » Estella, posted by verne on May 7, 2006, at 1:03:37
i did some looking through the archived...
we used to post a bit to each other...
i used to worry about you a lot
cause you didn't think babble friendships were real
and cause you didn't feel like you fitted in here
and i wanted better for you
i wanted you to feel cared about
and i think i tried
but i was also on this f*cking hobbyhorse of trying to make sense of bob
and going off when people weren't being the nicest
and that alienated me from lots of babblers
and i didn't care...
i didn't care...
and now... i don't support bob anymore and what do you know
that alienated me from lots of babblers
and i didn't care...
i don't care.
it is crazy.
i am f*cking selfish
everyone is though
so i say lets cut through the b*llshit
and admit it
instead of patting ourselves on the back for the caring
'cause it comes with such restrictions...
i'll demonstrate caring for you so long as you tow the line...
yeah whatever.
i'm sorry we got to a bad place with each other
really
i hate it when that happens :-(
:-(
and i'm not just talking
but i liked you
you made me laugh
and i felt sad you didn't feel you fit in
'cause i know what that feels like
and i wish nobody had to feel like that
though i'm too selfish to do much in the way of trying to ensure it doesn't happen
haven't posted to the newbies for ages...> Most of the babble "relationships" with the endearing little hugs and confessions of undying love, are NOT REAL. One misstep, one typo, and the "friendship" evaporates.
yeah.
one little critique of an ideal and you buy yourself 2 weeks in isolation
> Sometimes I feel like a stand-up comic trying to keep the audience from leaving. If I'm not funny, entertaining, positive, helpful, educational, caring, or nice enough, they will leave.i understand the fear.
thats what happens in blocks...
people forget you> Perhaps, the constraints of "civility" - this dance where one can smoothly cloak hate with civility and yet be blocked for less than smooth caring - encourages unrealness and disconnectedness. So it's about being SMOOTH not real.
yeah. as z has noticed...
> We had our problems but at least I didn't pretend to like you - not that I disliked you. I just didn't share your passion about certain topics, so I gave you a wide berth. Perhaps, it was a case of two polarized paradigms with no way to connect. (I'm so full of it)
oh. yeah that sounds right. i'm sorry about that.
> No hard feelings. I sort of like you now - for what it's worth - since I don't know either of us. Sorry I was a jerk when you were going through rough times. I seem fair-weather, but I was in the storm myself.heh heh. er yeah. i understand.
peace.
poster:Estella
thread:640562
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060412/msgs/640858.html