Posted by finelinebob on August 17, 2006, at 2:57:53
In reply to Re: wtf was that Maxime? » UgottaHaveHope, posted by maxime on August 16, 2006, at 10:11:16
> > what in the world made you say that? this board is for ENCOURAGEMENT.
>
> I believe in reality ... the truth.
>
> maximeI gotta go with Maxime on this one. A dose of cold, hard, irreversible reality is something anyone in this dark place needs to face.
RN320, you've done a lot of preparation for dying, and I can appreciate that. I tried, I failed miserably, but I learned a few things.
I learned that there was a level of despair that drained the "strength" it takes to do it. That's why so many anti-depressants warn about close monitoring when you first go on them -- you may improve enough to get back up to that tipping point.
I also learned what, for me, were the signs. Having tried once, I knew that I was capable of doing so again, and that is a terrible bit of self-knowledge to have, but there is far more hope in it than despair.
And no, I'm not going to tell you what they are. They're MY signs, **I** found them, I EARNED them, and I ain't gonna SHARE them with anyone who's gonna copycat me.
But now comes the tough part. Preparing to die is easy ... our society makes it so. Preparing to live is quite different. And a lot harder. None of us here want to lose you. Whatever you may think, that's likely the case for everyone in your "real" life, not just your virtual life here.
So, when you start seeing your own signs, what are you going to do to prepare to live? For the signs I would recognize as stepping down that path, I have plans and backup plans to turn myself around. I know too many people who will refuse to let me take my own life. How many is too many? 1. If you need a back-up plan, 1. Maybe 2. I'm lucky enough to have more than that.
Stop planning to die. Certainly, suicide is *an* answer. God help them, for some people it is one right anwer. Not the only one, but perhaps one.
Start planning to live. It's a bigger challenge, much more to do. But there are many right reasons to live, whatever your situation. A good start would be to reverse all those actions you took to prepare for dying. Get your mom off your accounts. Rip up that deed. Take that dress, remove your tag, put in on then go out and LIVE a little in it. Invest your money. Take a home improvement loan out on your property so that you can't simply have it "assigned" to someone on your death.
When you've erased all your preparations for dying, let us know so we can cheer you on.
I'll be honest. I agree that suicide is selfish. But I think it takes strength and courage ... misused strength and twisted courage, but strength and courage nonetheless.
Living is so much harder. But you are surrounded by people willing to share that burden with you. Yes, your burdens may weigh us down, but your life will lift us up, with the balance sheet in our favor. Will you let us be selfish, or are you going to hoard that vice all for yourself?
poster:finelinebob
thread:675823
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060810/msgs/677337.html