Posted by JahL on August 11, 2004, at 16:16:39
In reply to Re: depersonalization help needed, posted by SLS on August 11, 2004, at 7:09:35
Me again :)
> > ECT has well and truly brought me to my knees in the meantime.
>
> How so?I tried it as a last resort the year previous. After 5 or 6 treatments there was clear improvement. This did not stick however and by treatment 14 I had become acutely suicidal. It may have had something to do with the requirement to stop Lamictal pre-ECT. I cannot live w/o it and eventually had to up the dose to 600mg.
The general anaethetic was orgasmic - you learn to anticipate the intense rush and ride it. The pain ceases instantly, only it gave me eczema and my lovely long locks began to fall out. Nice. Still haven't returned to previous baseline.
> It is nothing short of dementia, and it is tugging at me with suicidal ideation. My memory is profoundly impaired.One week after I finished ECT a report came out in The English Journal of Psychiatry. It stated that there was an indisputable link btwn ECT and memory loss. Apparently about a third of patients experience short term memory impairment, whilst another third suffer from more severe, long term memory loss. I'm the latter. I don't even remember buying the house I moved into a year ago!
Dementia is about right. It's humiliating at times, I'm sure you'll agree.
> Do you actually experience boredom? I don't like to brag (ha ha), but I am so vegetative, that I can't experience boredom. I am content to stare at a blank TV screen. I do experience boredom, however, when my depression begins to lift as with a transient response to medication. Boredom heralds a potential remission for me.I hear you. I call it 'beyond boredom'. There's no interest to lack in the first place. Just a sparse existence.
I too can tell when a better spell is on the way. Like you, boredom actually becomes something one can experience. The best indicator for me is the return of my explosive temper - normally crushed by this depressive miasma.
> Do you experience any anxiety outside of social situations? Perhaps it is such a constant with you, that you don't even recognize it.It is v. constant but the socially phobic element is at the forefront.
> Out of curiosity, which would you identify as being the worst offenders?Funnily enough, perhaps the two you mention; Remeron followed by Trimipramine (surprisingly). Effexor was nasty too.
> Does it help to titrate the dosage very gradually?Not particularly. These days I'm fairly gung-ho and ramp it up as fast as my body (& mind) will allow.
> Maybe serotonin reuptake inhibition is clinically toxic for you.
I think maybe you are right.
> What about Provigil or adrafinil?
Tried them both in the days of AndrewB. Nothing either way.
> Is Wellbutrin anxiogenic for you?
No effect.
> You might consider adding a stimulant like Adderall. It can actually help to promote social confidence and reduce anxiety. I guess you've probably visited these things already.
Yup. Had to travel to the States but I managed to try a variety of stimulants. Just made me more agitated.
> Some people get a pro-social/antidepressant kick from adding Abilify into the mix.
Now there's a strange one. I first tried Abilify last year. Within days I thought I had found my 'miracle drug'. A solid, consistent 60% or so improvement. Unfortunately I had to stop because of acute constipation (I went once in a month. Ouch. Ugh.), whilst the akathesia was also unpleasant.
I eventually found a suitable laxative but second time round the Abilify *just didn't work*. At all. It was extremely dispiriting and I think it was then that I decided for good that I *will* 'catch the bus' once I've exhausted the remaining options. This existence is too demeaning for a proud guy like me.
Can I ask if you've tried Abilify yet? It was wonderful in terms of cognitive function...
What about Pramipexole? It dampened the suicidal ideation a little for me but I couldn't withstand the nausea - I also have an eating disorder. However it's made a significant difference to my bruv's quality of life, particularly in terms of motivation.
If you're interested, we've also tried or are trying the dopamine agonists Ropinirole, Trivestal and Almirid. Happy to share my experiences.
> I hope there is something you can learn from the new folks here that can help pull things together for you. They're a smart bunch (as always).Thanks. It's the general intelligence of the Babble population that draws me back here. Never ever posted on another board.
Keep throwing these ideas at us Scott. Who knows - maybe we can help you outta yr own situation too.
Best wishes,
J.
Sorry - another longie. Last one. Been away too long. Still, I think I've said most of what needs saying. Besides, it can be cathartic, especially when you're confiding in someone you feel you have some kind of affinity with. You know?
poster:JahL
thread:374412
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040811/msgs/376504.html