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Re: depersonalization help needed » SLS

Posted by JahL on August 10, 2004, at 16:54:46

In reply to Re: depersonalization help needed, posted by SLS on August 10, 2004, at 7:26:05

Hi Scott.

Hope this finds you better than the last time I spoke to you (a few times probably a couple of years ago - I don't expect you'd remember). ECT has well and truly brought me to my knees in the meantime.

Derealisation is actually the least of my problems. I experimented a great deal with hallucinogenics when self-medicating in my teens. I generally found the experiences to be pleasant and sometimes downright profound and so the surreal sensation of derealisation can be lived with.

Like yourself I suffer from early onset (age 7) Bipolar NOS (or are you II?), overlaid with profound, indomitable depression. I'm a lucky kinda guy so I also suffer from social phobia, GAD, severe agitation and the aforementioned derealisation.

I know you're particularly frustrated by cognitive retardation and boy can I empathise; my current working IQ is around 30-40 points down on my euthymic IQ. It's the single most frustrating aspect of my disorder.

Anyway, to yr post...


> > SSRIs just worsen my depersonalistion.
>
> I think I can understand how this might happen. Depersonalization might, in large part, be the result of chronic anxiety superimposed upon anhedonia.

Mmm. Certainly anhedonia and complete mood unreactivity are a central feature of my disorder. I am pathologically bored.

My anxiety is chronic and presents itself mostly as acute social phobia.

>Prozac can produce both.

I agree. I've tried (for the appropriate time period) around 15 antidepressants and without exception, they have all worsened my condition, which would encompass anxiety and anhedonia. Interestingly, most antidepressants I have taken have worsened the derealisation almost instantly, with some being worse offenders than others, whilst the extra depression, as you say, does not normally kick in for a few weeks.

>The anxiety usually develops right away with Prozac. However, the anhedonia/apathy usually takes a few weeks or longer. The two together could make depersonalization worse, especially in the absence of an antidepressant/anxiolytic response.

Mmm. As I say, speaking for myself, the depersonalisation appears well before any anxiety...

> Have you ever focused on ameliorating the chronic anxiety?

Yeah, as I say in a post elsewhere, Sulpiride has been pretty effective (no complete remission tho') where *everything* else (55 meds and counting...) has failed. It is truly a lifesaver since I cannot function and interact socially w/o it.

> - Scott

Sorry this this is so long. It's just nice to see a familiar 'face'. I don't see anyone else from 'way back' here.

Best,

J.


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