Posted by Tina1 on May 27, 2000, at 9:13:13
In reply to Why is everything so bad at 5am?? Oh, and tattoos, posted by NikkiT on May 27, 2000, at 7:40:03
Hi Nikki: I gotta say yes to the tattoo thing. It might be your way of taking the pain out of your own hands because you feel so guilty when you do it yourself, just my humble opinion. I often wish someone else would hurt me so I didn't have to do it myself and wouldn't have to explain it to anyone. I also have hellish mornings. It takes a half hour just to convince myself that getting up is necessary. I am my most dizzy, depressed and anxious at about 7am and can't get up. I've been on the celexa for a month and I think it's not working. The Xanax makes me tired but doesn't do a thing for the anxiety and I had to stpo the serzone after 3 days because it made me so ill. Spent last night nauseated and totally doubled over. No more of that crap. I am getting really hopeless now. I don't necessarily disagree with tatoo's but I do think that someone should get one for the right reasons. If it's just the self-harm thing you should probably not do it but if you really like tatoos then go for it. I'm not saying self-harm is good but maybe it isn't the problem, maybe you like tatoos--do you? Anyway, sorry I'm not much help this morning, I'm having a bad day and I think it's only going to get worse. I'm tired, so tired of feeling this way. My doc tells me to get out and exercise, walk, see the world but I can't even get out of bed. I'm so screwed. Does psychotherapy help you? I've seen 4 psychiatrists in the last 3 years but it never helps. They give me meds and I try to talk about my problems but I don't have any. I have a husband that loves me Unconditionally, a great house, car, family that loves me even though they drive me nuts and a great dog. I have everything I could ever want but I can't be happy about it. I don't feel lucky or blessed. I feel cursed. Cursed to hurt as many people as I can, I'd like them all to go away so I don't have to cause anyone any more pain. I feel like an ungrateful bitch. The shrinks I go to tell me that I have everything and that meds will make me feel better about it but they poop out on me. I'm wallowing again--sorry. I'm just so sick of this crap. I hate to bring you down, I know you have your own troubles. I wish I could help you with them but in the end I guess we all have to help ourselves. I just don't know how, I'm at the end of my rope. In the opposite to you, I've got 10 rope ladders hanging down for me but I just don't know which one to climb. I'm afraid to climb the wrong one and it'll break and send me plummeting to the pits of hell again. I hope I haven't screwed up your day by my whining. Can't help you to day but I'm listening whenever you need an ear. Keep in touch and take care of yourself.---Tina
> yet again, it was day light when I fell alseep... nearly 6am. I can;t do this much more.
>
> On another quick note.. Tattoos... when ever I've had a major crisis over the past couple of years, I've got a tattoo.. My most recent one - about 2 months ago, is pretty large. Was this my previous self harm release?? (the last one hurt like hell!)
poster:Tina1
thread:34617
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000526/msgs/34840.html