Posted by Bob on September 12, 1999, at 11:19:29
In reply to Re: Marital strife to AD's to NOW I WANT OUT! SOS!!, posted by Barb on September 12, 1999, at 0:02:50
Geez! You should have said he was an artist! or did you earlier? ;^) I've read I don't know how many times about how artists and comedians feel they "lose their muse" if they get rid of their depression. I must admit that some of the poems I've written just came out all at once in response to some depressive episode, but I've also been inspired once or twice by acute episodes of joy. I mean, art's not worth cutting your ear off for.
Barb, I'm happy for you to hear that you have this sense of conviction about your decision--that you believe it to be sound and your best course. Seeing what my brother has gone through in his two divorces, I know how family, friends, and co-workers can drag your decision through the mud ... just remember that none of them know the whole story as you do.
A lot of people ("experts" and non-experts alike) advise against making such important decisions while you're depressed. So what are those of us who are chronically depressed supposed to do, particularly when the status quo is making matters worse, blocking our way to a healthier, happier life? Sit in the mud and pretend we're enjoying it?
In the past six years or so, I've had to make a series of tough choices wrt my career -- changing grad school mentors, leaving before finishing my dissertation, leaving my academic job for the non-profit sector, and now leaving my current job for one in a NP that's more of an educational think tank. Every time, there's someone around to say it's a mistake, to say that I'm running away from my problems. But to me, each time it feels like I'm jumping out of a plane, freefalling over some gorgeous landscape, reveling in the freedom of it ... and my "parachute"-- my confidence in a decision well considered and weighed -- has opened every time.
Cheers,
Bob
poster:Bob
thread:11327
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990914/msgs/11486.html