Posted by jamie on September 10, 1999, at 9:43:24
In reply to Marital strife to AD's to NOW I WANT OUT! SOS!!, posted by Barb on September 10, 1999, at 7:36:33
That's very good news that the meds are working for you. Depending on whether someone is depressed or not depressed, the world sure looks totally different doesn't it? I fall into the Dr Laura camp on marriage...it's a committment and requires a romantic tune-up now and then. The kids are most important. More important than ourselves. They need a mommy and a daddy. Look around and see how the world has deteriorated from broken marriages. Maybe start dating each other again like in the old days. Here's a method my counselor gave me which is very helpful for spouses during and after depression...have each spouse make a list of say 10 trivial things they like the other to do for them. Maybe it's a surprise hug while doing dishes. Maybe it's 10 minutes of let-me-chat about my day and you just listen. Kiss me by surprise. Tell me how handsome I am today. Take me to dinner with no kids. Or whatever. I'm sure both of you can come up with your own wish lists. Then, each person has to choose at random from the other person's list and fulfill the wish of the other person. One or two a day each. After a week, make a new list. This method has three purposes...1) get to know each other better 2) encourage bonding and loving and respect 3) distract from other problems. The net result is a solid happy relationship. Just an idea. My counselor uses it a lot and it sure helped me. Marriages I think need adjustment during depression and then again after.
poster:jamie
thread:11327
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990914/msgs/11336.html