Posted by Barb on September 12, 1999, at 0:02:50
In reply to Re: Marital strife to AD's to NOW I WANT OUT! SOS!!, posted by Bob on September 11, 1999, at 15:46:34
> Bob,
VERY GOOD questions!! I told hubby at the time that the reason I was going on Zoloft was because HE needed to be on it! He is a very melancholy type personality, an artist, and has MANY mild symptoms of depression, but has so far refused to face reality. He is also VERY passive agressive, which means among other things, he wants to blame me for all of our struggles. I will take responsibility for many of them, because I came into the marriage with LOTS of baggage, and much of it got really "Hindinburg-ish" during the past five years. But, it's apparent to me, now that I have TRULY resolved MANY past issues, that my stuff is only part of the equation. I wish I had the hope and stick to it attitude, but I AM READY after 30 years of pain, to LIVE and enjoy LIVING! With or without meds, I do NOT want to be surviving just by popping my proverbial "lobotomy in a pill" (my pet name for zoloft).I have decided to wait until I feel I can go off Wellbutrin for a while to make a permanent decision, because I feel more irratible than usual. But I will be honest. I feel GOOD and not irrational. I hope I can face things objectively. I may have to make some hard decisions down the road. Thanks for responding. And listening to me ramble. Right now I have no one to really hash things out with, least of which is my extended family. Bye
Jamie, I really like the wish-list idea. It gets at the "little things". It's so easy to spot the big issues ... meanwhile, you get nickle and dimed to death by stuff just barely above our notice.
>
> Barb, I can't give any good advice on marriage, given my role models and my success at avoiding it so far, but I do have to ask one question:
>
> Is your husband as depressed as you?
>
> okay, TWO questions:
>
> Do you think he might benefit from medication?
>
> My older brother (the one stuck holding the keel of the boat, for those who caught that story), just got divorced from his second wife about two months ago. He had his three kids from his first marriage all summer (mom lives in VA, dad in MI), and after the divorce (to #2) he had to takes his kids back. He wound up e-mailing me about having some "very bad thoughts" a few days later and asked me for help. I wish I had the $$ to fly to him from NYC, but I did talk him into getting to his GP to get a referral (don't you LOVE HMO's 8^P )for a pdoc. Instead, his GP prescribed celexa, xanax, and after finding his thyroid levels were way down, took him of the xanax but got him some thyroid meds.
>
> Moral of the story:After hearing this news, EX#2 told him she's gone through similar straights and didn't think about what he might be going through. He's responding to the meds, and they're trying to work things out. Sure, they've got other problems to work out, but those are problems between them, not a problem within one of them that disrupts the relationship.
>
> Cheers,
> Bob
poster:Barb
thread:11327
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990914/msgs/11457.html