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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2Chica on November 26, 2010, at 23:11:08
it seems i have my most self-depricating thoughts at night. That i am most in need of support, nay a sponsor of sorts that i can text or such. has anyone ever heard of such a group or support that i can call/text anywhere from 9:00 to 3 or so am? i want to drink and mix down meds SO bad at this time. and i pretty much got a limit from my pdoc as to how much of each would put me in a coma.
This scares me, but also ....would it be sick to entice me a bit. no not entice...encourage. giving me the gun without the amunition? cant seem to find the right analogy.i have trouble with flashbacks, anger, and most self hatred.
and of course wanting to SI, or OD.any ideas please mention. i will check on my post tomorrow night.
b2c.
Posted by B2Chica on November 27, 2010, at 22:37:42
In reply to not sure what to title this (trigger)_nd 4 hlp?, posted by B2Chica on November 26, 2010, at 23:11:08
Posted by Annabelle Smith on November 28, 2010, at 14:26:29
In reply to not sure what to title this (trigger)_nd 4 hlp?, posted by B2Chica on November 26, 2010, at 23:11:08
I think that things are always worse at night, and yes, especially in that time frame that you mention from 9pm- 3am. I don't know what it is about that time, but that seems to be when thoughts take on a life of their own and the demons inside grow to insurmountable portions.
I know it hurts at night. There are always suicide/crisis hotlines you can call that are available 24/7, but when I have needed it, my experience with that has been very mixed.
Perhaps you could come on here and type when you feel this way.
Are you still seeing a therapist or pdoc?
Posted by B2Chica on November 28, 2010, at 20:19:57
In reply to Re: not sure what to title this (trigger)_nd 4 hlp?, posted by Annabelle Smith on November 28, 2010, at 14:26:29
that you for at least posting.
i appreciate and "get" the mention of the demons and growth.so incredibly true for me.
a suicide hotline would not be of help for me, as i think its more of a self-injury (to the max) kinda thing. i think. and how would i even mention that to themthey'd just tell me what everyone else doeswait and make sure you tell your therapist..@#^%!Some type of crisis line is what i need.
i wonder if an addiction hotline would be helpful?? maybe?
its only a little after 8:00 now but BOTH kids are STILL up!? ughand i was so bad/angry at them this last hour so finally even my DH told me to take meds and offered me a beer. took my 10mg ability and my gabapentin. feeling still a little on f-ing edgebut starting to feel 'slow'. whatever that means right?
At least my DH has the little one tonight! F-ing FINALLY!!!
and my oldest is at the table with me, she's eating a snack as i type
great mother huhi do think typing here helps. so i will keep that. but there are timesmany times where i need INSTANT returns on my questions or concernsand a forum doesn't cut it.
and yes, still both. i cant afford either but my t offered AGAIN to offer me less payments. i'm extremely grateful but feel like a pile of sh*t cant even pay f-ing copay!
gotta run.
little ones done and looking over shouldergood thing she cant read yetps sorry for the flaired language tonight...
Posted by obsidian on November 28, 2010, at 22:07:16
In reply to not sure what to title this (trigger)_nd 4 hlp?, posted by B2Chica on November 26, 2010, at 23:11:08
> it seems i have my most self-depricating thoughts at night. That i am most in need of support, nay a sponsor of sorts that i can text or such. has anyone ever heard of such a group or support that i can call/text anywhere from 9:00 to 3 or so am? i want to drink and mix down meds SO bad at this time. and i pretty much got a limit from my pdoc as to how much of each would put me in a coma.
> This scares me, but also ....would it be sick to entice me a bit. no not entice...encourage. giving me the gun without the amunition? cant seem to find the right analogy.
>
> i have trouble with flashbacks, anger, and most self hatred.
> and of course wanting to SI, or OD.
>
> any ideas please mention. i will check on my post tomorrow night.
>
> b2cok, here's some suggestions, but I don't guarantee them to be good ;-)
work on getting sleep during the night
is there something you can change about your sleep routine to help that happen? something you can take? something you can talk to your doc about?really try not to isolate, keep yourself busy, engaged in something...your own head is a dangerous place to be right now
has something happened? what helps you feel better?
Posted by B2Chica on November 28, 2010, at 22:39:05
In reply to Re: not sure what to title this (trigger)_nd 4 hlp? » B2Chica, posted by obsidian on November 28, 2010, at 22:07:16
i'm a mother of two amazing girls.
but one is 3 and refuses to go to bed, and the other is 1 and is into this wont sleep unless you rock me for a half hour phase.
i actually let her cry it out tonight..:( but i knew it had to be done. i was loosing it.my DH doesn't do much regarding the children. Except tonight when he saw that i was yelling at them for about an hour. ya, mother of the year here.
i cant sleep cuz both have been a little sick and it kills me to take my meds early then fall asleep and have to wake 20 min later to get one or the other for whatever reasons.
yes, there are two of us, but "I" am the primary.
docs know about it, upsets T, but pdoc ready to call DH and lecture him LOL, i almost wish he would.i'm not really isolated, just in another room, it doesn't matter. its the anger i want to run and grab meeds and take thempushing my limits one more too many each night. onemore
i don't know whats happened.
painting makes me feel better, but i work in oils and too strong smell for little ones. i've contemplated changing to acrillyc, but there's something about oils, i need.
alsowhen would i do that? 4:30 am? or 10:00 at night till whenever? smelling the house and getting bitched out about the smellnot to mention what it might tdo to the kiddos lungs.god, right now i honestly want to just be taken to the hospital. (never thought i'd say that).
oh, well a few weeks ago a coworker killed himself. but we weren't extremely close, butdamn. he was the kindest, sweetest kid i'd met. he was amazing. THAT was a MAJOR loss for humanity.
******************
btw, can you read my post on meds board and tell me if i'm ok.think i am but checkin.thanks
b2c.
Posted by obsidian on November 28, 2010, at 22:54:50
In reply to Re: not sure what to title this (trigger)_nd 4 hlp? » obsidian, posted by B2Chica on November 28, 2010, at 22:39:05
well painting is a good thing, maybe acrylic is the way to go
> god, right now i honestly want to just be taken to the hospital. (never thought i'd say that).maybe you need to do that for yourself
> btw, can you read my post on meds board and tell me if i'm ok.think i am but checkin.I can't tell you if you are ok in a physical sense, but playing with this line is not ok.
I wish you'd seek help in person.
Posted by sigismund on November 29, 2010, at 1:32:54
In reply to Re: not sure what to title this (trigger)_nd 4 hlp? » obsidian, posted by B2Chica on November 28, 2010, at 22:39:05
>but one is 3 and refuses to go to bed, and the other is 1 and is into this wont sleep unless you rock me for a half hour phase.
It's better than having a kid who can't be comforted by your rocking or patting.
It won't last long. I would rock for half an hour.
I'm not sure about the refusal to go to bed.
But I was never the primary caregiver.>butdamn. he was the kindest, sweetest kid i'd met. he was amazing.
They always are.
Posted by B2chica on November 29, 2010, at 13:01:52
In reply to Re: not sure what to title this (trigger)_nd 4 hlp? » B2Chica, posted by sigismund on November 29, 2010, at 1:32:54
sig....
can i cyber sit next to you for a while.
you have a good vibe and good words that i need right now.(((would you mind?)))my work friend is out sick....
and maybe, maybe that coworkers suicide was more of a trigger than i thought?
b2c.
Posted by Phillipa on November 30, 2010, at 13:00:14
In reply to Re: not sure what to title this (trigger)_nd 4 hlp? » sigismund, posted by B2chica on November 29, 2010, at 13:01:52
That's what I'm also thinking trigger. Phillipa
Posted by sigismund on November 30, 2010, at 15:27:57
In reply to Re: not sure what to title this (trigger)_nd 4 hlp? » sigismund, posted by B2chica on November 29, 2010, at 13:01:52
>sig....
can i cyber sit next to you for a while.
you have a good vibe and good words that i need right now.(((would you mind?)))Of course I wouldn't mind.
Of course you can.
Thank you.
This is the end of the thread.
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