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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by scentedgarden on June 10, 2006, at 6:50:09
i'm in love with my female T, I am so in love and I want to kiss and cuddle and go down on her and have orgasms together and do sixty nines together all in her little office all over the furniture - window sills- the floor, the chairs, the tables... I want to kiss her on her mouth and suck her big breasts.... I have 2 types of feelings going on at once; 1 is i want her to be my mummy and brerast feed me and take care of me maternally and 2 is i want to have wild sexual intercourse with her for weeks at a time... I AM IN LOVE WITH HER... even if it's not real love as per say, it is real to me right now....so i thought i'd take a big jump feet first and say it here to the whole world, I want to F**k my therapist so badly it feels even so good to hurt and want her soo much this way, in a sexual way, I love it, and i'm tired of fighting the feelings, and telling myself it's silly etc. and ignoring my desires... i'm tired of all the pretense and the BS at times in the sessions, when I just want to lean over her kneel down and start to make love to her over and over and over.... i do it in my sexual fantasies when i masterbate, she is my best orgasm, as i feel so close to her, for me that makes everything so inense... I guess this is all new groung fro me and i really want to have a close realtionship outside of therapy with another woman whom I can do all these things with... but i wnat the other woman to look exactly like my therapist... and to be absolutely honest, if she were to go for it with me one day in session...i would go for it too...without hesitiation i'd kiss her mouth na d fondle her breasts and kiss her kneck and remove her clothes and have a generally real fabulous session... iwant to so much and i dont care wjo knows it anymore... i think i may even print this out and give it to her at my next session... i mean lets face it thats as far as this fantasy is ever going to go... she'll never kiss me... but she haas no way of stopping me from telling her all my desires and sexual longings and all the drems and fantasies I have with her in my mind...she will have to listen and if she isn't turned on even slighty i would be very surprised and suspect she'd be lieing... but i could be wrong... anyway that's really all i wanted to share with you undersatnding buch on here... i know some are lesbians too, and i know some babblers who are not lesbians may still fantsise about kissing or having sex with their female T.... well now you know I certainly do.....and i'm not going to figt it anymore... thanks for listening to me and for any kind responses... i'm grateful to the folks on this site who believe in helping and sharing with others insimialr situations, or just other clients/patients going through CBT or psychoanalytic therapy...I'm having a bit of everything with my beautiful woman T; we started off with CBT but it's changed to eclectic!!! i wish it was more hands and lips on...lol Ha!!
Thanks fro sharing your own feelings of desire towards your female Therapists with me.. i'd appreciate anyone who has a similar feeling to share...Kind regards to you all, from scented garden x
Posted by Karolina on June 10, 2006, at 11:57:31
In reply to My desire2 make love2 her..., posted by scentedgarden on June 10, 2006, at 6:50:09
Hi scentedgarden,
I'm not a lesbian or attracted to other women but I share similar feelings for my T as I have often posted about, like having very intense fantasies about him and irrationally wanting so badly to have something sexual happen in sessions.
Does your T have any idea about your attraction to her, or your attraction to other women in general? Do you suspect/know that she is attracted to other women as well? I'm not trying to be over-nosy, I just think those might be some important questions to explore with her in your sessions.
I also think it's great you are able to admit how you feel openly, and maybe bringing this post to your session will be really helpful in regard to letting her know about your 2 types of feelings for her.
-Karolina-
Posted by scentedgarden on June 10, 2006, at 15:03:26
In reply to Re: My desire2 make love2 her..., posted by Karolina on June 10, 2006, at 11:57:31
Thanks Karolina for the info and the response, it's always so nice to get a response, even although this is only about the 3rd time i've ever posted here...
Yes i've maentioned it a few times and she knows partly, how i feel but not to the extent of my feelings that ive revealed on here...i was scared shed have to terminate me if i revealed all... so i pretended i was able to control it and just sweep it away.. and focus on the good work we do together... but i still fancy her sooooooooo much its a great feeling, i love it!!!
I get the feeling she is v attracted to me, but she denies it so, i have to accept my intuition is wrong in this case, but... anyway i will have a think more about this and hopefully some other psycho babblers will give their in put too on this subject of strong sexual desire for their therapists especially female to female but i guess it works whatever gender is involved, i dont know as ive never had a male T.
.. it's the sexual one im having more difficulty with.. than the inner child part who sees her as her mummy... thats okay iguess but the adult parts of me are so confused because i really want this woman to have sex with her sooo much it really leaves me so ................mmmmmmnnnnnn...
well i have the hots for her... and when we are together we laugh and smile alot... and she stares so intensly deep into my eyes the whole session... her eyes follow me everywhere... and she thinks im funny and i make her laugh alot... so, hey just another forbidden relationship that this weird therapy stuff brings sometimes i guess...
anyway i will leave it there for now... thanks for listening to my desires here...bi sigh.....aaaahhhhh !!!!! its good to just face it here if if it's on the net... anyone else ever go through the same sort of thing? I would really be so glad to hear your thoughts if you want to share your experience i will be here waiting for you to give me advice or anything you want to share... and thank you.. Karolina very much once again for taking the time to reply, it's appreciated believe me!! Cheers!
Posted by happyflower on June 12, 2006, at 9:47:58
In reply to My desire2 make love2 her..., posted by scentedgarden on June 10, 2006, at 6:50:09
Hi scentedgarden,
I have had much simular feelins too about my T and it does drive you crazy, or it did me. I even see him work out at the gym in his shorts and t-shirt, talk about torture!
Things have changed just lately about my feelings for him after a 1 1/2 years, but it may just be it is just this week.
But I guess all I wanted to say is I understand, really. I feel my T is attracted to me also, in fact I am 100% sure he is, but he is keeping those boundries high with me, so nothing will happen. A lot of people say to talk to your T about those feelings and they should lessen, but that didn't happen with me, in fact we grew closer than ever. It is so hard and I feel for you, I really do.
Posted by scentedgarden on June 12, 2006, at 16:18:38
In reply to Re: My desire2 make love2 her..., posted by happyflower on June 12, 2006, at 9:47:58
Thanks Happyflower!!
You're reply means alot to me..as Im kind of new here and ive felt kind of on the outside if you understand...so its very nice that you shared with me and to know that you understand too about the strong attraction...
i have been reading some of your posts and trying to follow some of the other threads to see if i can glean some advice and wisdom from them along the way but from a distance. I see you have had a shift somehow in your therapy something has changed...i knew you were planning on the race that you'd both be in...and I no now that the race is over and you saw the photos etc.. but i dont know what the big thing is that has kind of changed things a bit for you in your therapy... would you tell me if i asked you?
I hope you dont mind or think im being nosey... i just wonder if i can learn something from you thats all..... you seem to be very funny and intuitive and caring and you seem to have been through alot of cr*p with your husband from what i read on the board... so I think id like you in real life... just a feeling i guess... not sexually ....i mean just as a free thinking woman to woman...
anyway ive blethered on long enough i will leave it there for now... except once again thanks to everyone ..all 2 of you ...who have replied..Karolina and Happyflower ...cheers!!! from a fellow patient in a very similar therapyboat. Hope we can speak again... Lots of like , scentedgarden
Posted by Karolina on June 12, 2006, at 23:45:36
In reply to Re: My desire2 make love2 her... » Karolina, posted by scentedgarden on June 10, 2006, at 15:03:26
Hi scentedgarden.
I have the same curiosity or feeling that my T is possibly attracted to me, he does the same thing as your T - stares into my eyes so deeply. My T and I joke around a lot too (maybe it's flirting? but i don't know...) but I know what you mean, it is kind of a rush. And there seems to be a thick tension in the air...almost kind of overwhelming at times.
I have the same fear about my T terminating if I revealed my feelings/fantasies to him, it's kind of a tough position to be in, I understand how you feel.
Anyway good luck with your situation and glad you are able to express some about how you feel on here.-Karolina-
Posted by scentedgarden on June 13, 2006, at 5:44:34
In reply to Re: My desire2 make love2 her..., posted by Karolina on June 12, 2006, at 23:45:36
Hi Karolina... Thx for writing back to me. Yeah i never thought of it that way before..a kind of a rush!!! But for sure the tension is very thick at times in the air!!
I think we are supposed to learn to trust our instincts as humans and i really think she finds me attractive even although she says she's straight...anyway I won't go into all that now, I just wanted to thank you for replying again, and for taking your time to understand and share...
...Before I go I just want to say I wonder if the rush.....is the love in the room, just a thought....I really hate therapy sometimes because of the boundaries...if only i had thos strong boundaries when i was a child, i wouldn't be in this position...
... in love with a professional woman who simply cannot hug... kiss... or F**k me ever ever ever... and I say all that in the nicest possible meaning of those adjectives... sometimes when you have very strong feelings for a person, and you feel love in your heart fro them you do want to simply and beautifully src*w their brains out... to satisfy them and leave them gasping for air, and wnating you more!! lol ...mmmmmnn ....big sigh!!
P.s. hope no-one is offended by my vivid writing, I don't mean any offense, these are words I am longing to say to my Therapist and so doing it here is the next best thing right now... but if anyone doesnt like it i do offer my sincere apologies...I'm kind of new here and don't know the limits, and i'm naturally a very open and up front person...
I know i WROTE THIS POST TO KAROLINA, BUT i ALSO KNOW TONS OTHERS READ IT WHO NEVER POST BACK OR WHO ARENT A MEMBER... SO TO EVERYONE...I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND I'M SHARING MY DEEPEST DESIRES RIGHT NOW WITH ALL YOU FOLKS!! HOW CRAZY IS THAT!! LOL take care everyone... and thanks for all your kind wishes with my affairs of the heart, you guys are kool!!!
Posted by happyflower on June 13, 2006, at 20:18:09
In reply to Re: My desire2 make love2 her... » happyflower, posted by scentedgarden on June 12, 2006, at 16:18:38
Hi Scentedgarden,
No you aren't being too nosey. I am happy to tell you about my situation if it will help. I can't believe I have been on the boards for over a year. There is a lot of good information there about my situation and others too that are in a simular one.
Well a couple of weeks ago, I really needed my T and I couldn't get in to see him, and I flipped out and acting very badly torwards him. I made things too personal. Well it caused him to tighten those boundries I think, which I do think looking back on it now, I am glad he did. But it did take the excitement about the race and seeing him away. I am sure that might be why he wasn't there for me when I ended. I think he wanted to be though, but after what happened he thought he better not and plus I told him to stop telling me personal stuff about himself, because when I do see him it hurts that I can't talk to him socially. So that might of had something to do about it.
I think I am still attracted to him and I know I like him as a person, but I really need him to be my T, probably more than I need him personally. It seems like when I crashed head first into his boundries, it was like a catalist for me because now I am getting into things a lot more deeper. But I understand the attraction you are feeling and the fantasies too. I had them, and probably still will. I think about him everyday, but it has lessened. I guess he will always be a part of me, even after therapy. I truely do love him, but in a different way now, in a way more deeper than a romantic love. I don't know if that makes any sense. But it is how I am feeling right now.
I know your pain, and I hope you can deal with it the best way you can. I don't know if talking about it with your T is the best thing for you but it might help, it has helped others. Just not me, the feelings on both sides intensified when I did this. Good luck and keep posting, I don't know what I would have done without all the support of the Babblers.
Posted by Fall Girl on June 17, 2006, at 9:34:40
In reply to My desire2 make love2 her..., posted by scentedgarden on June 10, 2006, at 6:50:09
Wow. What a powerful post. I have been dealing with feelings of "love" for my T., too, but felt kind of freakish about it. They started about a year after I began therapy (I'm now in for 2 years). At first, they stunned and immobilized me. I shut down, not quite understanding what was happening. I didn't start out feeling sexual love. I would get glimpses of me sitting in his lap, or sitting in his chair right next to him, and it seemed that I was just a small child. I could even see the ankle sox and patent leather shoes! Those feelings evolved to wishing that he could take me with him, that I could belong to him, that I could watch him to learn how it was to be an effective adult, that I could be absorbed under his skin. I get jealous when he goes on vacation with his family, or when I see that he has a suntan (how dare he leave me out!!) but I have never said that to him. I understood that that "little girl", unloved and un-cared-for was responding to him, but when my feelings began to have sexual tone, I couldn't explain that to myself. I have not mentioned it to him, but I am SURE it shows, anyway. H*ll, getting ready to go to my appointments has turned into something creepily like getting ready to go on a date. Most of the "fantasies" that I allow myself to know about in my own head involve him doing me: I'm subordinate to him, he's driving into me, and I am a source of great pleasure to him. Maybe it is just symbolic of something going on in our therapy. I love this man because he is a good man and I am getting out of therapy things that I have wanted my whole conscious life. I don't want to taint this or jeopardize it in any way, though I do know that I will be better off to discuss my feelings with him.
Thank you for being gutsy enough to share your feelings, scentedgarden. I, for one was helped by it! FG
Posted by scentedgarden on June 17, 2006, at 11:00:44
In reply to Re: In love with your T scentedgarden, posted by Fall Girl on June 17, 2006, at 9:34:40
Wow .......yourself fall girl !!!
Thx for your post to me i really understand everything you've been saying sooooooo much!!!
I could have written your post myself, and it feels so good to have someone respond who really understands the whole child thing and then going to the sexual thing...
I wrote some more stuff just a few days ago here in a replay to a post called "are you okay? scentedgarden " it was happyflower who had been asking how i was doing and i replied quite a long and wacky reply, but you may want to read that as I talk about my therapist going on holiday without me and how i feel about the reality of not being in her real life really!!
I hear what you're saying about telling all your deepest thoughts to your therapist being the \'right thing' to do...... but i'm not convinced, for reasons i won't go into right now but would love to discuss with you if you want to write to me at flowerswelcome@yahoo.co.uk
I would love to contine this converstaion there as i feel sometimes that what i say here really isnt private enough anymore, It's fine up to a point, but what i have to say next is not, (as far as im concerned) suitable for everyone to view...
I feel as if i'm just merely skimming the surface with this stuff, so I give you the invitation fall girl to write to me privately. I hope thats allowed on here,(by Dr. Bob, I do this respectfully) i don't know either way - but i need to talk to someone about all this who really understands what it's like for themselves...
thanks again for your post and i really hope to hear from you or anyone for that matter who wishes to dicuss this very private subject just a little bit more privately... as i'm feeling uncomfortable on here doing it, and I really need some help so please you guys at the sheriff dept and Dr Bob hope it's okay to give out my email address and invite a private talk...
if not thats kool, no harm done..
But I do hope to hear from you fall girl...as i have so much more i want to tell about all this stuff, and you sound like you are going through very similar experience indeed...
i was 2 years in therapy with her ( my lovely therapist) before i started to feel the things you descibe, so it's been going on now for one year, (same time as you) ,and it's escalating rapidly now for me, and i so want to share some more of this really hot stuff to stop me going completely insane,
it's just too hot and steamy to put here though, so, i hope to see a msg from you in my yahoo mailbox, you or anyone who wants to discuss this very serious subject more privately.
Kind regards
scentedgarden
This is the end of the thread.
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