Posted by happyflower on June 13, 2006, at 20:18:09
In reply to Re: My desire2 make love2 her... » happyflower, posted by scentedgarden on June 12, 2006, at 16:18:38
Hi Scentedgarden,
No you aren't being too nosey. I am happy to tell you about my situation if it will help. I can't believe I have been on the boards for over a year. There is a lot of good information there about my situation and others too that are in a simular one.
Well a couple of weeks ago, I really needed my T and I couldn't get in to see him, and I flipped out and acting very badly torwards him. I made things too personal. Well it caused him to tighten those boundries I think, which I do think looking back on it now, I am glad he did. But it did take the excitement about the race and seeing him away. I am sure that might be why he wasn't there for me when I ended. I think he wanted to be though, but after what happened he thought he better not and plus I told him to stop telling me personal stuff about himself, because when I do see him it hurts that I can't talk to him socially. So that might of had something to do about it.
I think I am still attracted to him and I know I like him as a person, but I really need him to be my T, probably more than I need him personally. It seems like when I crashed head first into his boundries, it was like a catalist for me because now I am getting into things a lot more deeper. But I understand the attraction you are feeling and the fantasies too. I had them, and probably still will. I think about him everyday, but it has lessened. I guess he will always be a part of me, even after therapy. I truely do love him, but in a different way now, in a way more deeper than a romantic love. I don't know if that makes any sense. But it is how I am feeling right now.
I know your pain, and I hope you can deal with it the best way you can. I don't know if talking about it with your T is the best thing for you but it might help, it has helped others. Just not me, the feelings on both sides intensified when I did this. Good luck and keep posting, I don't know what I would have done without all the support of the Babblers.
poster:happyflower
thread:655162
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060604/msgs/656629.html