Posted by susan47 on March 13, 2008, at 0:58:14
In reply to Do You love me?, posted by susan47 on March 13, 2008, at 0:52:29
It feels like You do. I think after the miracles of this day, of every day which follows my prayers and the prayers of those who truly love and care about me, and those whom I love and care about also, and God how I wish you all knew, my friends the people I spend my time with my family, my counsellors and my mates in Hell, in the daily hell of drug addiction and withdrawal, the hell of knowing I have only myself to rely upon for the next good feeling, the reaching for the Truth in all of it. The truth which has brought me here, the truth which led me in all my stoned moments, in all my moments of clarity both stoned and un-stoned .. oh to be unstoned and all right. All Right. Like that, like everything is all right with the world, with myself, with my loved ones, with my pocketbook .. the money I have burned through in all my addictions, my vitamin therapies and my health supplements and my amino acids, my beauty (!) creams, my desire to be Well in appearance at least, at least if I am to be so deeply flawed perhaps my appearance could fool myself .. I could look into the mirror and see Somebody.
Thank You, for loving me, I think you must truly and deeply love me, or somebody, and I think maybe if I can get this good feeling without my DOC, then I would be so much better.
Please God, let me be better. Thank you, thank you forever .. I love you.
poster:susan47
thread:816223
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20071223/msgs/817674.html