Posted by special_k on March 21, 2006, at 5:02:37
In reply to Re: sad, posted by special_k on March 21, 2006, at 4:28:49
okay so it ain't that bad... i'm just recovering from being sick... or fighting it off more to the point. not that surprising... last couple of months have been fairly stressful. lots of change and i don't cope so well with change.
i think it is about... just getting on with what i am doing. i think i do know what i'm supposed to be doing... just getting on with it. and re other people... just being happy enough. if they are in pairs or whatever... i'm okay. just be okay by myself and other people will approach me... just be okay. 'cause i guess i'm like that fairly much. fairly... inconspicuous or something. always have been like that. i approach people and if they are involved in a conversation or something they don't notice me. not until i really have made friends. just keep on... and try and get some boundaries going on. re drinking and stuff. not just going along with the flow... and not panicking if i don't feel part of it. not panicking. i guess it is just because i care. need to have some faith in my abilities too. hard to do that when i'm not too sure what is going on... but my peoples... the ones i'm (hopefully) going to be fitting in with... don't arrive till later in the year. so just make the most of now... get on with preparing for next semester. try and write stuff and request meetings. it is easier to say 'i'm not sure what you are on about can you explain that to me' when other people are saying the same about my stuff lol. but need to get writing so as to get teh ball rolling... otherwise people don't know what to make of me. and i don't have the connections other people do etc.
hrm.
i'll be okay. i'm sure. just need to spend more time by myself and get into it.
pretty freaky...
a bit sad... but period etc. and if i think too much about what i have to do over the next couple years... eep.
poster:special_k
thread:622766
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060125/msgs/622772.html