Posted by alexandra_k on November 6, 2005, at 22:46:41
In reply to Re: Was it personal??? » sleepygirl, posted by alexandra_k on May 22, 2005, at 16:29:11
i only very rarely remember my dreams
i remember my dream from last night
full of stuff...
from politics
and substance
and stuff that went on from boards that shalt not be named.there is a coffee shop on campus
and last semester
when i was working
i spent a fair bit of money in that coffee shop
they are rip offs really
it is just that they really do very good coffee
and they are the only place that do
really very good coffee on campus
and so...
i spent a fair bit of money there
and that is something...
that i feel guilty about
at times
because it does seem to be something of a waste
of money that i should have saved
or could have given to people who needed it more than me
or whatever.
and there are things like that with my life
where i feel guilty
and i don't know...anyway in my dream
i went to the coffee shop
(it was in a different location but you know how dreams go)
i went to the coffee shop
and i was having coffee
and i was worrying about whether to get a job or not
because i could get a part-time job
and that would give me a little extra money
and once my thesis is handed in
i suppose i could get a full-time job
and go off welfare for the first time in my life
though i have to say that yes
i'd much prefer to live on the dole
have a couple months off before starting my phd
and yeah, just laze around for a couple of months
not doing a lot
maybe doing some leisurely reading
preparing myself for thatanyhoo
the guy that runs the place came up to me and asked me if i wanted a job there
and i felt...very anxious indeed.
and i had some time to deliberate
and deliberate i did
and i decided 'no'
it would be mroe stress than it is worth
and then i felt incredably guilty
and then i woke up.what is up with me?
what is going on?
maybe... i really am just a lazy sh*t.
other people do work over the summer
i go on the unemployment benefit and have a break
a holiday for a few months
other people save
so they can get a car
so they can have a proper holiday for a week or something like that
i've always thought i was entitled to be lazy over the summer
and the price i paid was not having a car
not having money for a proper holidaybut maybe...
i'm not entitled to a holiday
i should be working
and its not about the extras
its about having to work for ones basic needs
and i don't know anymore i don't knowmost people over here do think they should work if they are able
i guess i'm different because i've been on welfare ever since i can remember
but maybe i am just lazy
i don't know anymore
i'm sorry...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:500224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20051022/msgs/576220.html