Posted by alexandra_k on May 22, 2005, at 16:29:11
In reply to Re: Was it personal???, posted by sleepygirl on May 22, 2005, at 0:00:01
Hi there.
Thanks for taking the time to respond.
:-)
He got promoted.
I think that at that point he was just focused on that...
And I guess he thought he was wasting his time with me because he could be doing things that clearly were helping (ie giving someone their much needed meds) rather than seeing me and having to listen to me tell him that it wasn't appropriate for him to have his phone on in sessions etc.I couldn't believe that I needed to tell him this stuff.
And then he would say 'ok. There isn't any point holding that against me thoguht because I can't change the past so we'll just have to do the best we can do from this point on'. And then his phone would go off and he would leave to take the call.Over and over.
And the past just got so very much harder to leave behind because he insisted on dragging it into the present.And I was 'bad'for bringing it up...
So I thought, yes. Better to work with someone else. I mean, if he doesn't even get this really very standard any book will tell you kind of stuff then how well are we going to be able to work together? And he might say he is prepared to work with me but his behaviour tells me otherwise.But the point...
The point is that there isn't anyone else within the service who will see me.
And the service has refused to fund me to see someone from outside the service.
So
There it is
And I have to accept that he is gone
But it isn't just him
It is the whole of community mental health
The whole possibility of finding someone who is willing to work with me
Gone
Like that.
But I just have to accept it
Somehow
And so it is about making up some 'story' or narrative on the undeniable facts (that he isn't going to see me anymore) a 'story' that I can live with. Preferably one that I can accept and one that makes neither of us out to be the villan.Yuk
Life sux.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:500224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050513/msgs/501287.html