Posted by alexandra_k on May 20, 2005, at 5:03:43
Hmm.
He said:He would work with me. Unless I would prefer to work with someone else.
I said that I thought that he had broken my trust on a number of occasions and that it would be hard work to repair that... That I might be better off working with someone else.
I didn't want to push the 'had broken my trust on a number of occasions' bit. Basically... He would just get defensive about that. It was basic stuff about turning his phone off in sessions, telling me beforehand if he couldn't make a time, him changing the times all the time, etc etc.
Maybe that was my mistake...
He said he would work with me if the funding didn't come through.
That he would make sure he got adequate supervision.
That we would really begin to do some work.But...
Somewhere along the way...
He changed his mind.
And the first I knew of him having changed his mind on this was the session when he terminated me.
Out of think air.
I didn't even see it coming.
So.
What changed his mind?
What did I do?
Was it because I said I'd prefer to work with someone else?
Was it punishment for that?
What?
I don't understand.
I don't.But I didn't want to turn it into a 'but you said...' discussion. Whats the point. It doesn't change his decision. It just makes him defensive.
He said...
When he saw me in hospital...
In front of his registrars...
He said that I didn't work in therapy anyway.
That I may as well work with a councellor.Ouch.
The next time I saw him I said that that was really really unfair of him to have said that.
That he said he wanted to keep things light because we didn't even know whether we were going to stay working together (if the funding came through).
He said he based that comment on my file.
What a bastard.
He said before that of course I didn't get far in therapy when they were working with the wrong dx.
He said he didn't judge me based on my file.Why does this keep going round and round.
I just need to accept that he doesn't want to work with me.
He doesn't want to see me anymore.
Thats the way it is.
He doesn't have to justify it or whatever.
Not with more lies.
It doesn't matter why.
I just have to accept it.
Accept that he tried to help me best he could
And that he doesn't want to be a therapist
He wants to be a medication prescriber
And thats just the way it is.Not personal.
He doesn't want to be a therapist
poster:alexandra_k
thread:500224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050513/msgs/500224.html