Posted by alexandra_k on April 25, 2005, at 19:27:00
In reply to Re: Crap crap crap » alexandra_k, posted by anastasia56 on April 25, 2005, at 17:46:22
> i wouldn't read your father into this any more than to say he wasn't giving you the affection a child needs..
Yeah. Thats the yukiest part of it all... I try not to go there. But the thought did occur to me, that was true.
>you went elsewhere to find it. where you got it wasn't as important to you at the time as just having someone hold you.
Yeah. Thats why I don't really consider it 'abuse' or at least that is why I am really ambivalent about calling it 'abuse'. Because I asked for it. I mean that literally. I really did and at least part of me wanted it. And that was the part that I showed to them. So it wasn't really abuse. Thats what I figure anyway. I mean, I understand that they shouldn't have done that and they shouldn't have put me in that position in the first place and they were married and in a position of authority etc etc. But they didn't see any part of me as unwilling - and I never showed them that part (aside from almost crying with the first one) but I kept that part well hidden after that.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:489108
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050419/msgs/489430.html