Posted by alexandra_k on April 28, 2005, at 4:58:15
In reply to Re: Alex? I'm sorry if I've offended you » sunny10, posted by alexandra_k on April 27, 2005, at 18:18:12
And I said it before. Right here.
>Yeah. I guess I really discovered that one at 14. I realised I was too old for people to care about me like a kid, where sex wasn't a part of that. And that I had missed out on that anyways, it was too late because my parents didn't love me. And nobody would ever love me like they were supposed to have because nobody else was my parents (I used to fantasise that I was adopted so I might have a better chance with some other peoples). And I was too old anyway. It was too late for me. So I thought that the way that you got love as an adult was to have an 'adult' relationship and that meant sex.And it is too late.
That is it. That is what hurts so much.
That my father left when I needed him.
And that my life turned to sh*t after that.
And there isn't anything in the world that can make up for that or repair that or make that any better or make that go away.And I suppose all I really want is for someone to love me like that. Like I'm a little kid. Their little kid and they love me.
But it ain't gonna happen
It COULDN'T happen because I'm not a little kid
And I'm not THEIR little kid
And because it is too late anyway.And nothing in the world can change that.
And that is what is wrong.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:489108
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050419/msgs/490704.html