Posted by Jost on October 8, 2006, at 14:13:13
In reply to Re: Work » Jost, posted by Dinah on October 8, 2006, at 12:15:59
The part of the schedule where people come-- I schedule in advance--
the part that's more flexible is the problem-- ie making progress, as opposed to going around endlessly forever.
Yesterday, I had trouble getting the post to be right. It's one of my biggest obstacles. I really have trouble saying, that something isn't right. I feel so stupidly apologetic, when I don't feel I have anything to apologize for-- I mean, it needs to be more or less right. And then I often have to say the same thing over and over-- people tend to fall into several places with any one pose. And these places don't seeem to feel significantly different to them-- or they do, and the one I like is slightly more uncomfortable, so occurs less often.
These different poses can be very close (from the point of view of the model)--but are radically different from my point of view. So, yesterday. I had asked H the last time( Thursday) to have her head so that I was looking down onto it, not up into it. This is a question of the rotation of her chin/neck, so that I (standing above her) am looking more onto the top of her head, or, if she bends her neck the other way, am looking up slightly into her forehead. (I'm having trouble expressing this, but I showed her in a photo I had taken of the pose, and also myself--and had her do both, and explained the difference..)
I thought she understood. But yesterday, she was posing for about 35 minutes, and after about 20 minutes, she moved and put her head back so it was much less down-- in the next 35 minutes, she put her head so it was bent back, and I was looking up into her head, which is much less what I'm trying to get. I tried to work with it, but it was too much opposite, so I finally got myself to tell her again. I reworked the pillow to get it right, and we talked about her arm placement, etc-- then she did the same thing after about 15 minutes. So I said, is you head more comfortable in this position or the other position. I don't think she knew what I mean, but I think she didn't want to admit that, so after some hesitation, she said, "this position." Now "this" was what I didn't want-- but I decided, well she seems to keep doing that, so maybe I should just do that-- I just want to do Something here, not back-and-forth.
So started to change it that way.
Then the next time, she totally did it the way I wanted. I decided to say nothing, change to what I wnated, and work on insisting that she just do it that way-- no matter what-- until she remembers the difference, and which is the right way.
So that was a disaster so far.
Second problem yesterday: Light. PUT THE LIGHTON WHEN YOU'RE IN THE CORNER AND THERE'S NO LIGHT.
Third problem: Paper. Damn it. The paper was worn almost through, and was so thin as to be unstable. I bought this supposed ground that's good for pastel, charcoal pencil, etc. I used it on K drawing and tried it yesterday on this drawing. It's Horrible. I can work on it. So that's a disaster. Toward the end, I just glued another piece of Somerset underneath and started tearing through the top layer. It's a really awful consaquence of my messing everything up all the time-- but have to do it.
This drawing has been with De, M, J (chiche), and now H. How many heads have I done and undone-- of each of them? How many heads have I done on this paper that's now giving out-- how many drawings don't exist because of this? this is what' sdepressing.
Fourth Problem: I don't feel entirely comfortable with H. She';s also ready told me one untrue thing-- which I know because she later told me the "same" information-- but it was completely incompatible with her first version, and you could see the effect she was trying to create each time.She's super-sweet on the surface,and really steely underneath. Sort of scary. Cause I think she's entirely capable of cutting someone off-- and feeling very justified. This is one of the main differences between models now and models 6 years ago-- I'm working with younger people-- and they have this sort of zero-sum, or self-interest approach-- they do what's good for them, and there isn't this sense of loyalty-- or sticking with it. There's this sense-- I have to look out for myself, and it's cutthroat world and I don't have time for ephermera such as loyalty, your project and the commitment I made to your doing it, which counts, as well as my doing my own. etc.
She also has this somewhat cynical view-- underneath her "sweet, scared young girl" persona. It scares me, cause I';d rather deal with the steely part, but then I'm scared of that too.
Dont' know. So today's mess will be with J (Chiche).
Last night I got extremely depressed about how few drawings I've ever managed to finish. Like maybe 5 or 6--in my lifetime. Which is absurd and pathetic. Not that it helps much to think in those terms.
Jost
poster:Jost
thread:692721
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/work/20060706/msgs/693034.html