Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 10, 2005, at 15:22:20
In reply to Re: Non-12 Step » alexandra_k, posted by AuntieMel on December 5, 2005, at 16:23:59
I've been away from Babble-land for a while, but decided to come back and see what was up. When I left, I "wasn't an alcoholic". I just liked to drink... even though my doctors told me that it was absolutely dangerous with the meds that I was on. I was seeing a therapist, who finally convinced me to check out AA.
When I went to my first few meetings, I KNEW that I wasn't like "those people". I had never had a DUI. I had never been arrested, put into protective custody, I didn't have the stories that all of those people had. I couldn't be an alcoholic.
Still, though, at my therapists request, I kept going. I got a sponsor. I started seeing a pattern. Aside from the troubles with the police, etc. I realized that no matter how many times I had told my doctors and myself that I would quit drinking, I couldn't stop. Then, I started looking at my life. I had driven drunk MANY times, even with my kids in the car. I would go to restaurants with my kids, and drink, and give them shirley temples. How stupid is that? I was a daily drinker, and was to the point that I considered a six-pack or a bottle of wine a single serving, and I needed more than one serving a day.
I couldn't 'not drink' on my own. I needed help. I'm getting it from AA.
Could there be another program that would work out there? maybe. Will I stay with AA forever? I don't know. I've only been sober for 90 days, but AA is doing something for me that I couldn't do on my own. I'm much safer now. I'm not driving drunk anymore. I'm recognizing that I really did have a problem, and how bad it was.
I have no idea of who or what a "higher power" is, but I know that I can't do things alone. Maybe my higher power is society, or the fellowship of AA. Maybe it's Quantum physics. I don't know. What I do know is this: I need to stop drinking for my own safety, for my kid's safety, and for the safety of society as a whole, and I can't do it alone.
So far, AA is working, and I'm not ready to test the waters of those groups that tell me I CAN drink in safety.
Dee.
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:573995
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20051106/msgs/587808.html