Posted by 4WD on May 19, 2005, at 21:53:16
In reply to HELP/URGENT! I AM OUT OF CONTROL! » chemist, posted by AMD on May 15, 2005, at 23:33:38
> No sooner am I feeling better than I'm out drinking and "drugging," as the NA'ers so lovingly call it, again. From Thursday night until 3 p.m. the day after. And then going to the office Friday, smelling of alcohol, before realizing -- hmm, perhaps that's not the best idea.
>
> This was Thursday night, and now it's Sunday, and yet, unlike any time before, *I still feel high*. Not high, "cocaine high," but high "Ican'tseemtotypefastenoughandmythoughtsarenotclear " high.
>
> I don't see how this could possibly be the cocaine from the other night -- it's been, what, ~57 hours? I can't even add. What did I do to myself? For the first time in my life I literally feel like I am going crazy.
>
> And I read these messages and want to cry, because you guys have been so supportive, and I have been nothing but a complete and utter failure.
>
> This is either:
>
> a) serious alcohol withdrawal-related dementia;
>
> b) cocaine psychosis;
>
> c) a full-blown manic episode;
>
> d) something too terrible to write down.
>
> Everything I've written in the past two months feels like a cakewalk compared to this. What is going on? Help!
>
> amd
>AMD,
My heart is with you. I just started NA meetings two months ago. I started because of the psychiatric consequences of my drug abuse. The drugs were still fun; the consequences became more serious every time out.
If you want to talk via posting or Babblemail, I'd be glad to. I hope I can be of help.
Marsha
poster:4WD
thread:496153
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050506/msgs/500141.html