Posted by fallsfall on June 12, 2005, at 11:06:21 [reposted on June 15, 2005, at 21:50:14 | original URL]
In reply to no no no no no no no no, posted by Dinah on June 11, 2005, at 22:13:37
Back up. i'm doing the same dance that you are...
Is there one particular class that you would like to take? That you think would be interesting? Don't think about the degree, or a change in occupation or even the second class. You said that you thought that a class would be invigorating for you - that it would make it easier for you to do your work. That is a real possibility. So don't give up yet. Let's think this through a little.
So let's take Psych 101 as an example (since you mentioned it). Personally, I think that you probably know 80% of the material already. But that doesn't make it a bad choice. It would give you the experience of going to classes, taking tests, writing papers in a subject that you are comfortable with. And you would be filling in the gaps in your knowledge (that other 20%). We know it is a subject that is interesting to you. So I don't think you would find the *subject* difficult. The difficulty would be in finding a way to fit the necessary work for the class into your schedule.
So let's talk about that. When does the class meet? Does it meet 1X or 2X or 3X/week? How long are the classes? Which schedule would you like better? [for me, I would want a class that meets 2 or 3/week because I wouldn't want to need to sit through a 3 hour class. So for me, a shorter class would be worth going more than once a week. How does this work for you? What would be better for you?] Does the class meet on days and times that you think you could go to? How long would it take you to get to the campus? Can you park? How far would you have to walk? Factor in all the transportation and class time and everything and figure out how long each class would really take - door to door. Part of this process is letting you do a mental runthrough of what it would be like to go to class. But remember that you think that the excitement of taking a class will help ease the burden.
What work would you expect to have to do outside of class? Reading, studying for tests, writing papers. You already do lots of reading... What is it like for you to study for tests? Remember that you will be pretty interested in the material (and you know 80% of it anyway). Somehow I don't think the papers would be hard for you! You could even talk to a professor and ask about the class. I don't think they would be surprised at your questions.
Remember that you are only deciding about taking ONE class.
What is the cost? Do you have the money, or a way to get the money? Would you have to give something up in order to pay for school? Would you be willing to give that up?
Now the hard part: time.
Your schedule tends to be pretty flexible, as I understand it. You often work from home, and often aren't working 9 - 5. So I would think that *scheduling* the time to do the class wouldn't be a problem. The question is whether you would *have* the extra time to do the class - and the extra energy required.
(By the way, this discussion is as much for me as it is for you. I need to start moving forward towards whatever happens in my life "after depression". I am wrestling with these same decisions myself.)
I have found in the last couple of months, that when I am motivated to do things, that I can do them better than I expect. Not perfectly, but better than I expect. So I'm finding that enthusiasm makes things possible that I didn't think would be possible. You have enthusiasm for going back to school - just read your posts! So you have the underlying motivation to make it work. The question is whether you are ready *now* to do this. During some of your harder work times, you have successfully done the "finish this small work task and then you can have this reward" thing. And that has worked for you. Does taking this class count in your mind as a reward? Do you think that you would be able to motivate yourself to get your work done by saying that it is the "cost" of taking the class? Your difficulty in working seems largely motivational to me - maybe if you saw your work as the thing that made school possible, it would be easier to do - because you would have something to look forward to after you get the work done.
Another idea is to find an Adult Ed class to take this summer, just to try out "taking a class". Don't take a college class in the summer - a full course load in the summer is 2 classes at a time, so they are twice as intense in the summer. But take a class in the stock market, or some computer application you don't know, or sign language, or whatever. Just to try out the idea of taking a class.
You *HAVE* time in your day. You spend it taking care of your family, and buying things online, and procrastinating about working, and reading Babble, and taking naps, and watching TV. The real question is whether you would be happier if you spent the time taking a class instead, and would the class be motivating enough for you to give up some of those activities?
It would be helpful for me to talk this through with you - like I said, I am making the same kind of decision myself.
poster:fallsfall
thread:513409
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/studs/20050329/msgs/513422.html