Posted by alexandra_k on June 3, 2014, at 5:53:43
In reply to Re: melting..., posted by alexandra_k on May 29, 2014, at 15:57:30
even if i ace the exam (and i don't suppose i will) i don't think i can get even an A- now. it was possible given labs... or... it was possible given one f*ck*d up test... but it isn't really possible given both.
and there it is.
what does it matter?
well...
i haven't learned how to actually do anything in labs. i never learned how to do a 'simple titration' and i bet we're expected to do 'simple titrations' next year, too, and i have no reason to suppose that i'll do any better at them then.
so... i suppose labs will similarly be a f*ck up next year.
i do have another appointment with disability tomorrow... i'm going to ask again about next semester. instead of being all... easy going... happy enough to be put off till next year... i can't have bio labs turning out like this next semester. it would be too... demoralizing. and i've seen their lab set-up and it is a bit unclear... but it seems possible that they are twice as crowded / have twice as many people in a single space...
as for the test...
part of it was about falling behind. then not being able to get caught up. i told them. about getting the powerpoints out in advance for pre-reading. chemical sciences has a policy that they won't. i can write to the dean... or not... whatever... point is: they didn't. i got behind. i couldn't get caught up.
and i only have one f*ck*ng class and most others have 4. which probably has a f*ck*ng lot to do with why half the f*ck*ng class actually failed that last test.
but i'm sure they know what they are doing... whatever it is they want to achieve...
biology has just changed their policy. something about... they thought it was best teaching practice to not make them available... but they've changed their minds. or some sh*t. anyway... point is... i'm not likely to get behind with biology. depending on how far in advance of the lectures they get out their powerpoints. ffs. people here seem... determined... to do everything in their power to have people be dumb and dumber...
anyway...
another part to it is... unfamiliarity. no little hooks. equations are novel for me. i don't know ways in which they can be arranged and rearranged to get different bits out given certain known values. if they are explicit about different equivalences then i can learn them... come to see / learn patterns... carry-over from one equation to another... but they aren't often good about being explicit. preferring to say 'students don't have appropriate math background and that is why they suck' instead of... just telling us what we need to know. and, uh, sometimes making things a little bit easier like 'oh hey why don't you get a calculator that can take care of x and y and z for you then you can spend your time focusing on the actual hard stuff over here...'
anyway...
thermodynamics. i'm stuck back there. different forms of energy are interconvertible... heat only exists as a flow of energy due to temperature difference. temperature is defined as what a measuring device has to say when its own temperature has equalized with surround... temperature just is average translational kinetic motion of the particles... it is intensive... doesn't matter how many particles there are... but heat is extensive... there is more heat coming out of a swimming pool than out of a recently boiled kettle... even though the water from the kettle will burn...
well... have a toke and think about that at 3am.
and think about it, i do. round and round. all... puzzled, like. but this is... just a very few lines right at the start. and it isn't supposed to be about any of that... it is supposed to be about... calculating enthalpy change. and i don't quite understand enthalpy yet... heat... and moles... but heat was dependent on amount already...
anyway... it just... takes time. to process. and practice. to calculate. and then practice with the way they set up the questions in the tests / exams which is a bit different from the practice questions. with them being... cumulative. so... taking you sequentially through a bigger... calculation process... so... need to remember to refer back to earlier calculated values and plug them in rather than... recalculating. every time. like i was doing when i was trying to learn the process. the whole f*ck*ng process. from memory. without prompting. because i thought that was what we were supposed to f*ck*ng do.
the exams are everything. the library has them. you can view them online with university login. for... all the courses. years and years and years of exams. i... uh... i'm pretty good at asking questions. philosophy has taught me to ask a good question. i can see how... if that question is fair game then there are a whole bunch of related ones which are also fair game and i can... use the exams really well to prepare. really very well indeed, i expect. so... i think... that is the way to do it, really. a lot of the questions do get repeated because there are only so many questions you can ask. it is more about there being masses of content and only so many hours in the day to learn it. at least... that's what i thought it was going to be like. that's what i thought it was supposed to be about. not this... not being able to do it because i didn't know that that was what was required. or... whatever.
anyway...
what does this mean?
i'll have to see how physics goes next semester. and how i do in this exam, of course. if i don't ace the exam... if physics doesn't consolidate / reinforce / extend appropriately... then i'll need to do health science next year instead of bio-med. which is... what people thought i'd have to do, i guess. but they didn't think it would be about labs... one year of listening to idealistic 18 year olds learn about the (official version of) the health system in nz... hearing them crap on about how they gonna save the world. oh joy. still... better that than hiding under the desk because i can't do a 'simple' titration.
?
f*ck knows.
then after that year... if med doesn't work out... i can transfer back to physiology... or take the physics hit if biochem turns out to be manageable / more like biosci. they are gonna do their ppt in advance, anyway. whereas chemical science is digging their heels in on making their students get behind and... stay that way. guess they like to fail half the class...
sigh. whatever...
i'm... feeling kicked, rather. can you tell?? 3 weeks till the exam... only 1 more lecture, i think. one more lab (shudder). i need to put in an 'effort' apparently... then a review session... then 3 weeks till the exam... to review concepts (not too bad, i don't think, got through 3/4 of the first section tonight) and organic and... brush up on moles and concentrations... and... get enthalpy sorted. hess' law. specific heat capacity and enthalpy of fusion and how much heat to get 20g of ice and 100g of water to 35 degrees and rates and... however many f*ck*ng variations of K there are. and something about solids being out but water is sometimes in and i don't f*ck*ng know... and Q. and temperature differences and pressure... and catalysts... then acids and bases and electrochemistry... f*ck...
it'll be ok.
whether i do or whether i don't looks like i'll probably make a b. so... what the f*ck ever. just learn what i can. for me.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1058481
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140502/msgs/1066401.html