Posted by zenhussy on June 17, 2008, at 16:07:00
In reply to Re: Going under » ClearSkies, posted by Tabitha on June 17, 2008, at 9:34:30
been reading lots of anne lamott to get through too many losses from the past several months. somehow her writings are bite sized for the attention span of someone medicated and grieving.
>>>Trying to suck support out of a person who can't or won't give it is adding to the crazy. Now he's starting to see me as a person who needs drama, who needs constant ego-stroking. Then I get desperate to fix that, to make him see my pain, and of course all attempts are seen as more drama and manipulation. Rock, meet hard place.<<<
is it possible you've been seeking emotionally unavailable partners? often it shows during times such as now and your above words resonated.
you're fine and not too needy or looking for ego strokes. don't let someone elses deal define how you think about yourself, k? if he's not able or willing to offer you support during a time when ANY human (and you qualify for that ; ) ) would need support and comfort then he doesn't much sound like someone who meets those needs.
needs are NOT bad. they just are.
>>>I try to stop resisting and just let it wash over me, and that's OK for a few minutes, but then it pops back up.
It has two flavors: sad and desperate. The sadness is better I think, because it's more pure. If I can just let that be, it's almost tolerable.<<<
sounds like grief. been up close and personal w/ it over past several months. riding it out is pretty much the only way. sorry there's not some magic answer of relief.
been away from online for bit. think often of you and others from here due to things lately and just ongoing life/disease/disorder stuff.
feeling adrift and understanding much of what you write ('cept for current relationship...this hussy is single) and thinking that you're being awfully hard on yourself.
thinking kindly of you Tabitha. fantasy day--when the lotto winnings come in you're going to UK w/ the hussy to get crazy hair put on/in. however they attach that wild stuff!
poster:zenhussy
thread:835014
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080601/msgs/835109.html