Posted by laima on October 10, 2006, at 10:58:22
In reply to Re: How about a mental exercise?, posted by Rjlockhart on October 9, 2006, at 20:28:09
In a way that may be hard to believe, it sounds like your mom really does care for you and is doing all she can for you in a way she thinks is best for you. Actually, seems like she REALLY cares a lot. You and many of us here disagree with her methods-but it's not like she threw you out on the street at age 16 to fend for yourself.Yes, this separation age can be tough. She might be a bit freaking out herself about you growing up and needing to move on. I think that's a common human drama, but those dramas often get resolved a few years down the road when the separtation is more complete. It's almost a cliche, how common it is for a 18, 19, 20 year old to have an explosive and nasty-ish relationship with parents, who might not be ready to accept their little baby is no longer a baby-hardly one! It reminds them of time passing, and maybe they are confused about how to adjust to the new reality. "Empty nest"... Then so often it all ends up resolving later. That's how it was for me, and I heard that same story from many people. I hope you find that hopeful. Needing to separate doesn't mean you don't love your mom or are being in any way unfair or mean to her. One day, she can beam with pride at what a self-sufficient and brave man you've become, and know this separation was right.
Perhaps anyone has ideas on ways you can let your mom know you care about her and respect her, BUT you need to become independent?
Perhaps even letting her know that thanks to her wonderful guidance, you feel enabled to take steps x,y,z, or something like that? That you are keenly interested in her own drug experiences, and will always keep it in mind and learned from her? Will head her warnings, and not repeat the same mistakes, or something like that? Something, to help her feel validated and valued? Just a thought. Maybe that would soothe her nerves while also making things easier for you.
Best wishes.
> She hates psychobabble, becasue she thinks this is a drug website, she has reacted to many posts that where helpful and said dont ever post back again.
>
> I feel im, im superstitious, i love my mom, i dont want to hurt her but, i dont want this to back fire on me, im praying to god to do something, but im going to have to take action. What is best for me now, i need to break the chains.
poster:laima
thread:691924
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061005/msgs/693550.html