Posted by Racer on October 9, 2006, at 19:29:12 [reposted on October 9, 2006, at 21:43:12 | original URL]
In reply to Where do i go from here.......im in a pitt, posted by Rjlockhart on October 9, 2006, at 17:23:48
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> I just had a dispute with my mom and it is now, definely that she will not put me back on a stimulant, she cannot reason with. I'm going to a therpist and talking out my social problems because my mom always isolated me, well grew up isolated and now its turn into hell. Roomate i dont know about.OK, Matt, first question: why even discuss this with your mother? If you've had the same reaction every time you do, why keep doing it? Kinda like that joke, "Doc, it hurts when I do this?" Come up with a plan of action which does not include discussing these things with her -- maybe you'll get a different result?
> I need to do something fast, i dont know, im gonig to go try to talk to a social worker.
>Matt? What do you think a social worker is? What are you looking for when you say a social worker? I think there's some confusion there.
> Help again.....
>OK, how about a little mental exercise? This is predicated on the belief that you want to finish school, that you want to do it while living at home, that you want to do it without trying to work full time while you're doing it, and that you want to minimize the conflict with your mother. Those are the starting points.
Based on the above, if your mother does not change, how can you meet your needs better than they're being met now?
Simple as that, Matt -- you focus so much energy on how to change your mother, and the short answer is "You can't." The best you can do is change your reactions to her, and that's something you can do. I'm sure you've heard that before, and you can be sure you'll hear that again.
I've already given my advice regarding the doctor. I don't feel up to repeating myself today. Instead, let me ask you something: what does your therapist have to say about this? I assume -- and hope -- that you discuss this in therapy, what does your therapist have to say about this? What ideas have you come up with in there?
Good luck.
poster:Racer
thread:691924
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061005/msgs/693428.html