Posted by Tamar on August 7, 2005, at 19:41:31
In reply to Re: sex » Tamar, posted by crushedout on August 7, 2005, at 18:53:13
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> thanks for sharing that. :)
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> was it hard? i don't think anyone here (anyone who's cool anyway) will hold that against you. i certainly don't. :)Oddly enough, I do find it hard. I probably would never have mentioned it if you hadn’t asked me directly!
I’m afraid that straight women will hate me when they find out I’m not straight. The fear is there because I *appear* to be straight; but I worry that when straight women find out I’m not one of them, they will feel they’ve been deceived, or lulled into a false sense of security or something. And then they’ll wonder whether I’ve ever had sexual thoughts about them, and they’ll think I’m completely disgusting.
The difficulty for me is knowing how and when to come out. I don’t like to declare my sexual orientation to people I’ve only just met, but once I get to know someone I realise that coming out will change the image they have of me. And it’s hard to do it casually; it seems to be making a big deal out of something that shouldn’t be a big deal.
It was never a problem when I was actually living as a lesbian. Coming out was much easier because I could simply talk about my girlfriend. I wasn’t ‘pretending’ to be straight, so I assumed straight women would know immediately where they stood and if they didn’t want to associate with gay women, that was their problem, not mine. And I guess that’s still the logical way to think about it, if only I could be logical!
Of course, you’re right: cool people won’t hold it against me. Thanks for that!
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:538768
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050805/msgs/538854.html