Posted by Angel Girl on January 9, 2005, at 23:49:51
I used to have a lot of internet friends (apart from this site). We were very close and would sometimes speak to each other on the phone. But this damn BP disorder has driven them all away. I miss them soooooo much. Not one of them even e-mails me anymore, for several months now.
What did I do in life that was so bad that I had to get sick and lose what little in life that I love? Is it impossible to be sick and still have friends?
I've been so tempted to e-mail them but to say what? I don't want to beg for their friendship but I can't get over the loss of them either.
I just want to crawl under a rock and die. I'm taking up space on this planet that should belong to somebody who is lovable. That certainly isn't me. I have no friends. Everybody used to say how nice and sweet I was but I guess that's all gone now. Where did *I* go? I don't like who and/or what I've become.
This is a very lonely life. I wish God had not saved me from myself a couple of years ago when I had the courage to kill myself.
AG
poster:Angel Girl
thread:439973
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050106/msgs/439973.html