Posted by gardenergirl on January 3, 2005, at 11:16:25
In reply to (((GG))), I strongly agree with you!!!, posted by 64bowtie on January 2, 2005, at 2:16:44
> <<< Very serious stuff! I sincerely hope I didn't seem toooo glib... I was suggesting that Daisy not confront her Mom to reconcile this upsetness. That would only be vengeance serving, and the outcome can't be beautiful.I guess I read your prior post carelessly, and I somehow thought you were advising Daisy to confront her mother and/or father. Sorry for misreading it. But your statement above also concerns me as sometimes confronting is a healing process. That's what I meant by reporting my understanding of the research. Some studies show it helps healing, some show it does not, or it even hurts. The reasons a person may or may not seek to confront are multifaceted. Yes, I'm sure that vengeance can be a part of it, but that's not all, and certainly not in every case.
>
> Instead, I suggest Daisy can settle her mind by seeking tangent information if it is available. The new information can help her with "frame-of-reference" stuff; today she has nothing but uncertainty; quicksand can seem more certain.I see what you are saying here. I've done a similar thing myself with my own mother about some questions I have. It led to direct conversation about the topic, though. So I would imagine this might be tricky, but perhaps useful.
>
> I guess I have heard so many of these stories, I must have accepted it as the rule not the exception. ...> Am I finally being clear? I worry everytime I talk to anyone about this...I'm not sure what you mean in the above by "it". What "it" have you accepted as the rule?
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:435926
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041226/msgs/437186.html