Posted by Larry Hoover on October 12, 2004, at 12:43:01
In reply to Hey! I don't feel so bad this morning., posted by Dinah on October 12, 2004, at 8:12:09
> My mom broke the two day lead time rule, and I did what she asked anyway. So I was a bit angry with her and with me. But I reminded her of the rule and told her she lucked out this time, which dissipated the anger a bit.
The boundary setter (you) has every right to rescind a boundary now and again, if it's expedient to do so. It is wise to remind the other party not only of the existence of that boundary, but also that you are consciously tossing them a bone. It was still your decision. That's the new theme.
Di, give it some time. Change doesn't come in a day. It took a long time for things to get messed up. It's going to take a bit of time to organize things anew.
Adults are no different than kids. They like easily understood limits. So long as they're reasonable and respectful limits or boundaries, they stand a very good chance of enduring.
Don't be too surprised if the caregivers you've arranged for aren't already fully aware of the need for boundaries.
One day at a time. Live it one day at a time. If that's too much, live it one hour at a time. I've been down to living one second at a time, on occasion. But sometimes a single second was sufficient to allow a new reality a chance to exist.
I'm very optimistic about what you've been describing these last few days, despite the fact you're so tired.
Take care of yourself, okay?
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:400979
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041010/msgs/402160.html