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what's the point?

Posted by lepus on July 18, 2004, at 16:39:49

So my psychiatrist basically said she doesn't know what else to do with me. I am completely out of hope. I feel terrible, I have nothing in my life to live for (no really I don't - job? no. lover? no. friends? not really. dreams or hopes? nope) so why am I sticking around? Why can't I be given or find just a little hint of hope that someday my life will be okay?

It has been 19 years and I am tired. I turn 30 next month. I have accomplished nothing.

I just want either hope to make it through or to just die. I have trouble fighting when I see nothing that I am fighting for.

I asked God to show me some kind of sign a few weeks ago that things were going to get better and that I had a reason to live. It has been two weeks and things have just gotten worse. To top it off the psychiatrist says she doesn't know what to do. What is God telling me? Give up? And yeah, I know that sounds nuts but I am getting pretty desperate.


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