Posted by partlycloudy on July 6, 2004, at 7:48:39
In reply to about miss karen, posted by karen_kay on July 5, 2004, at 18:46:01
(((KK))) It took me a while to digest your post, sweetie, because it was a startling look into in own head. I've had these same worries for most of my life - and I have a 20 year head start on you! Let me try to give you the perspective that these extra years have given me on these worries...
> today i'm worried.
>
> i'm worried about a new car in the driveway that i wasn't even told about (not that i should assume he has to ask me before buying a car, but a quick note saying he was would be nice.)Talking to each other would be a GOOD THING - does he know how freaked out this made you?
>
> i'm worried about money.*sigh* Who isn't? You look in the driveway and see a new bill; you look at your summer job and you see uncertainty. This,unfortunately, is so normal and a really nasty rite of passage, I think.
>
> i'm worried that all the 'fairy tales' i have in my head aren't going to happen.My fairy tales get re-written every couple of years. Just think of what you dreamed of at age 10; at age 15. Don't be afraid of having to come up with new ones now.
>
> i'm worried there's no one here to hold me and tell me everything's ok.Yes, wouldn't an understanding mom have come in handy now?? Mine doesn't ever seem to know what to say to comfort me; she might as well be talking to someone she met on the street. So I find comfort in other places. In the friends i have managed to cultivate; in music, in books, and from within. We have a remarkable power to heal ourselves: you give everyone here so much comfort and encouragement - you know that it's there for you to give to yourself, too. Let that healing energy that you direct outwards and reflect it upon yourself. You're a healer, KK.
>
> i'm worried about running home to my mother and she'll just tell me to stop crying and grow up.See above. When I finally accepted that my mom did not have the ability to give me the sympathy, understanding, and support I craved so badly; when I saw it as a shortcoming in HER and not in me; it felt better (but you never stop wishing for that mom).
>
> i'm worried i'm not living life the way i should be.Hmmmm. I'm still working on that one. Perhaps that's the journey we take every day, to try to find that path and do the best we can to get there.
>
> i'm worried about my present, past and future (actually i'm terrified about my future).I think we can all eventually come to terms with our past, though it may take many years; I think that being worried about our present is what drives us to change and hopefully improve; I think that worrying about our future is human nature.
>
> i'm worried i'll never be able to take care of myself or find someone to take care of me.OK, so after having 20 years on you here, I can say that once I stopped being afraid of taking care of myself, it became much easier. Once I stopped trying to find someone to take care of me, I became a more content person.
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> i'm still worried i'm the little girl that no one wants and that worries me the most.That little girl is safe. She's wanted, she's not invisible, she's inside KK. If you met that little girl today, what would you tell her?
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> this list could go on forever, but i'll stop here.I hope that you feel that you're not alone in your concerns and worries, Karen. It's this part of growing that is one of the most painful things I've gone through yet. It does make us stronger.
love,
pc
poster:partlycloudy
thread:363285
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040706/msgs/363407.html