Posted by spoc on March 30, 2004, at 14:55:49
In reply to Re: P.S. to above post, posted by TexasChic on March 30, 2004, at 13:43:07
> I just wanted to say not all pdocs or therapists are like the one you described. I've read about alot of bad experiences on this board and it makes me grateful that I stumbled upon the one that I did. There's no labeling, no talking about my childhood – she's all about what I need to help me deal with what's happening right now. I've learned how to be more assertive, and how to not belittle myself and beat myself up for mistakes, how to relax (or try to anyway), and she even gives me career advice. I've just learned to be a better me, flaws and all. Of course its a work in progress, but it always amazes me when I realize how far I've come. I hope will keep looking, there's got to be one out there that is right for you too. Good luck!
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Thank you for reminding me how it can and should be. Through surfing in on this board recently I was able to put it in perspective much more quickly than otherwise would have been the case, if ever. It still hurts emotionally (and financially), but at least I am overcoming the tendency (borne of the self-doubt that took me there originally) to assume he, as the "expert," must be right across the board.I should know that's not true just based on how he seemed to prefer to let my escalating default stess habits proliferate for now, in favor of seeing if they'd clear up by themselves after God knows how many years of coming in through some side door and going at things his way. I went in saying "Please discuss with me these baby steps I have in mind to help yank me out of the progressive and predictable patterns my days are taking; I need first and foremost to stop these things NOW before any light has a chance of getting in." But he acted as if it was almost out of place to set such goals, as if that would disturb the long-term case study he was embarking on with me.
So, not only no positivity whatsoever, but also zero intention of discussing even my own ideas for how I could modify the ugly shape my days are taking. Ditto any attempts at discussing career-related elements, which was the number one thing I mentioned when I initially consulted with him. I really feel like it was the bait and switch; before we commenced I told him what I was looking for (including that any med advice go beyond "Take an SSRI"), and he could have -- but did NOT -- advise me that what I wanted was not what he was selling. Everything about me shot downhill before his eyes to have been met with this when I had been hopeful for so much the opposite, but still he refused to give even a passing glance to any practical, in-the-moment assistance.
ANYWAY that stuff still spurts out of me, it's still fresh. But bottom line is you're right; and I know it; and I should keep the faith and look again. : )
poster:spoc
thread:328027
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/330379.html