Posted by SandyWeb on March 29, 2004, at 16:12:30
In reply to Sandy, posted by jlynne on March 29, 2004, at 15:57:53
Hi jlynne,
I know you can't do it for me, but thank you for sticking around.
Right now I just feel so utterly hurt. I'm constantly on the verge of crying. Stupid cop didn't even ask anything about me. Thinks I'm some sort of whack-o who gets my jollies playing with people's minds. He doesn't even know that I asked you to call the cops! He thinks Dr. Bob just did it because of whatever I had posted. Jerk! But the jerk made me cry.....which is not what I wanted. And he kept yelling and acting smart with me. And all I could do was cover my eyes and try not to have them see my tears. And then he continued his smart-alec remarks, made me answer to his beliefs, and then they walked out. I was tying up the emergency services. *sigh*
I'm sorry. I shouldn't be even chatting anymore. I know you can't do anything for me. I know it's up to me. But I've just had so many failures externally, and now to go to the hospital and say that I'm broken....well, that's a failure internally. I just can't get myself to go there. And my family knows NOTHING. Which Mr. Bad Cop didn't care about....he wanted to go into my son's room, with my son's friend in there too, and find out about mum's lies. He was just so mean. He knows NOTHING about mental health! My gosh, he really could drive someone to slit their wrists!! I'm soooooo glad I had taken that walk before meeting up with him. It would have been too overwhelming.
Loser. I'm such a loser. The cops think I'm a loser. I'm just a welfare loser with nothing to look forward to. And here come the tears again!! Argh!! I haven't cried ONCE during this whole couple weeks.....and now that darn cop hurt me. What a jerk!!!! Don't they get sensitivity training??
And I still want to poke my wrist more. And I want to get drunk tonight (I didn't do it the other night). In fact, that's a great idea. The bottle is in the fridge. I'm having the whole thing....and FAST!!!
Sorry, guys. I'm so sorry about all this. Argh!!! And the tears again!!!! I hate this!
Sandy
poster:SandyWeb
thread:327575
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/329952.html