Posted by SandyWeb on March 26, 2004, at 13:04:56
In reply to Re: Hello,SandyWeb, posted by sekou on March 25, 2004, at 18:18:40
I just put a big box of supplies together for a nursing student to practice with. There are dressing trays, IV kits, syringes, cathetars, gloves, etc, etc. I feel a pit in my tummy. Bye bye career. It seems so final when you pack things up.
I am FREEZING today. I just can not get warm. This must be what the body feels like when it dies! Remind me to bring a warm coat when I take that walk! Ha ha!
Sekou, that was a wonderful story that you shared with us. I am so happy that you are able to overcome. Such a capacity for survival! I'm happy for you.
But you are going for your PhD? I don't even have my Bachelors....and I never will. I have NO skills. I have NO future. When the kids are gone, I won't even have welfare. And even if I got on Disability by some miracle, what a humiliation I would be to my kids. And I certainly can't face my family even now....with them so proud of what I was doing, and now I just show once again what a failure I am. Talk the talk, but can't WALK the talk.I sit here in my chair and just look at the carpet. And that's my life as far as I can see into the future. There is nothing left to struggle for.....I blew it, just like I always do. Pity party....wha wha wha. *smile*
I don't know. It's just so final to get rid of my nursing stuff. And with clinicals being decided now. I've always enjoyed clinicals....it's wonderful to see in action everything you've been studying. It's just neat to keep building upon your knowledge base.
But.....away it fritters. I started having my darn anxiety issues, just like last year. And I just couldn't get it together enough to complete the classes. And this was my last chance.....no more money or time now. For anything. I would find myself on the street when the kids grow up!
I don't know. Sorry for rambling. I just don't know. I'm freezing, I'm tired, I've lost my appetite, and I can't think. I just want to curl up somewhere and sleep for a long time. Where's that tree I was talking about? Ha ha! Just kidding!
Back to packing things up.
Cya!
Sandy
poster:SandyWeb
thread:327575
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/328731.html