Posted by 8 Miles on December 8, 2003, at 18:36:14
In reply to I'm such a stupid tool! Argh., posted by zenhussy on December 8, 2003, at 17:47:19
Zen,
You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Whereas past actions may posit their effects long after the "deed is done", it is much too easy for us (us, because I catch myself in that snare as well) to keep caught in that loop. First we mess up (or perhaps THINK we messed up), then we go about self-flagellation, often inflicting more scorn upon ourselves than "the world" does. Why do WE judge ourselves more strictly than the world does? Is it, perhaps, because we "know" our inner self more than the world does, and thus act as if "deserve" the pain and self-punishment? Well, yes, that's our natural tendecy, but it really does not have to be. Do you have a counselor, or some close "pal" you can discuss these feelings with? I used to have a few good folk I could converse with, but it seems as if the story has grown old through repetition. I live in a world of rote actions and interactions. I Can tell you with relative accuracy EXACTLY what I will do tomorrow, and what I will endure. Is that living or existing? Well, sorry to be so heavy, but do know that you are not alone, elp Zen.
8
poster:8 Miles
thread:287802
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031207/msgs/287816.html