Posted by Adia on October 12, 2003, at 0:57:34
In reply to Re: just wondering if there was anyone out there..? » Adia, posted by HannahW on October 11, 2003, at 22:44:08
Dear Hannah,
Thank you for reaching out to me and saying you think it's good news :o) Thank you so much for being here.
You are right that I am opening more to her and that's good :o) I just feel this urgency inside my heart, I couldn't tell her what I was feeling or things I really wanted to stop keeping secret, I just hinted at lots of things but couldn't go into them, but I will hold on :o) I do feel more hopeful with my therapist now and she told me she felt me trying hard...
I just feel so fragile after yesterday that I can't function or handle everyday things now, I've just burst into tears with my b/f and he's so tired of me (it's a long story but I have asked him to please give me some time to solve my deep fear of being touched by him and he's losing all his patience cause I panic all the time).
I will hang on till friday somehow and ask my therapist to help me think of ways to cope in b/sessions...
I just left our session yesterday feeling I was an 8 year-old trying to hide in the corner of the bathroom unable to run away and having to be there and get hurt. I felt it deeply in my body and heart, and I just couldn't tell her and it just scares me to lose control and feel in danger..
I am feeling safer now ..
Thank you SOOOOOOOOO much for being here...
iT means so much.
And thanks for helping me feel safer and more hopeful. :o) it's easy to lose hope but I am feeling more hopeful now with what you have shared.Thank you for being here, Hannah...
((((Hannah))))) safe hugs,
Adia.> Are you okay? Are you hurting that you didn't say everything you wanted to say? Is it that you KNEW you wanted to say them, but chose not to? Or that you didn't think to say them at the time, and now you wish you had?
>
> Honestly, I think this is wonderful, wonderful news. Before, you were crying that you COULDN'T share, and now you're crying that you can't share enough. I know it's painfully turbulent, but I think you may be turning a corner! Hold on, it will be worth it.
poster:Adia
thread:268351
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031011/msgs/268544.html