Posted by giget on July 17, 2003, at 8:59:22
In reply to Re: I went psycho again... » giget, posted by yesac on July 17, 2003, at 8:44:33
I don't think it has to do with the parents. I have gotten over them moving, and even went through the process for a loan for the house for me, but it is 5 bedroom, 3 bath house for me and my cats...
My emotions just take over my mind sometimes. I could see this coming a night ago. I could not sleep and my mind keep on running about my ex and about the struggles I am personally going through. I am being pulled in complete oppist directions... literally.
Last night I ended up getting off the express way and making a call from a payphone so he would not know it was me... straight to voice mail.
I just want everything to go back to normal, well at least what I saw as normal. I am so depressed and just want a little vacation from feeling bad. I want to laugh again and smile, which we did. Even through the relationship was terrible, I always had him to depend on, and to love me completely. That feeling of the hug that calms you down and makes you feel safe, nothing can hurt you. Deep breath.. tears at work are not me...
I am so alone, and lonely. I know that I just have to take my mind off of it, but I can not. I have to many internal struggles going on, and just want the comfortable place back....
I know that he is not right for me at all, but I just miss the love so much, the looking towards the future, seeing a bright future...
Sorry for dumping on you....
I just can not keep it inside me anymore...
Like I said my emotions cycle so rapidly, who knows tonight I may feel on top of the world. But right now I am not worthy of anyones time....expecally his.
This is so humiluating... he goes through work just fine, and I am sitting here a reck, with tears trying to just get my work done without leaving the security of my desk
poster:giget
thread:242791
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030713/msgs/242814.html