Posted by Penny on July 17, 2003, at 8:37:05
In reply to I went psycho again..., posted by giget on July 17, 2003, at 7:36:43
> Last night, driving home from my parents I just got so emotional I did not want to go on. I was looking for a spot I could drive down a hill or something, but was worried I might hit a guard rail and hit another car. Just because I do not want to be here, does not mean that I have to take an innocent with me.
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> I just freaked out. My emotions can change within 10 mins. I was fine one min then the next I freaked out.
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> I got home last night and did not feel any better, just wanting to go to sleep forever and this morning is not any better.... tears are welling up and I am just so overwhelmed.... Why can I not be at least on a constant level of emtions... not all over...
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Why indeed...I often wonder the same thing. All over the board, all the time. Was feeling better the past couple of days, then woke up this morning and now I'm feeling like crying. Feeling overwhelmed by work and afraid again b/c I have my obligatory meeting with my boss tomorrow and don't know what to tell him as I feel I haven't accomplished anything once again, even after talking to him on Monday. Have to take my meds about 8 p.m. b/c they leave me groggy, but that means I have no time in the evening when I can even focus, b/c I get so sleepy so early. I couldn't even finish the last 50 pages of my book last night, even though I really wanted to. :-(I too look for places to drive off the road, somewhere no one might find me for a while. Unfortunately, I stumbled upon the perfect highway, which is not a good sign. After feeling fairly normal the past couple of days, I'm back to wondering if a trip to the hospital might be in order.
I also am determined to not physically injure others if I do decide to do something drastic (which, just so no one freaks out or anything, I'm not thinking of at the moment and I see my therapist tonight).
And my emotions definitely change in a matter of minutes. It really sucks, and I don't know what to tell you that might help except that I understand, we understand, and we care about you.
Take care.
Penny
poster:Penny
thread:242791
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030713/msgs/242801.html