Posted by kara lynne on July 2, 2003, at 23:34:07
In reply to help, please...., posted by Emme on July 2, 2003, at 22:40:15
Oh Emme,
Is there anyone you can call to talk to? I wish I could just sit and be with you until you felt better. Trust that nowhere in his mind are you anywhere as bad as you feel. Chances are he'll forget about it by tomorow, and if he doesn't it still doesn't matter. You didn't do anything wrong! Not one thing! So he was tired, he'll live. I don't know what that comes from--who told you you were so bad so early that you feel you need to punish yourself. We are not responsible for deciphering everyone's moods so that we can respond to everything perfectly. It's impossible. But we are responsible to try to figure out how to let any light and love come in to ourselves when we are imperfect. I know it's hard, it's the hardest thing in the world, but it's the most important thing in the world.Try to think of yourself if it's at all possible, as someone else for a moment. What if I came to you and told you I felt so bad for reading someone wrong, that I made them mad and frustrated and had to cut myself because I was such a horrible person? I have made people mad and frustrated. I'm sure I do it daily! It's ok though, if they get mad. It doesn't mean we have to die because of it.
You have sent me such supportive posts, Emme, a bad person just wouldn't do that. Please be gentle with that person I like. Is there anything you can do--even to distract yourself for awhile? Go watch a movie yourself, do one small thing you need to do that would involve your physical energy. I have heard, but I don't have personal experience, that holding ice to your skin may get you through moments where you feel like cutting. Try it.
We have to stop punishing ourselves, Emme. We just have to.
I am sending love and prayers to you tonight. Please write and tell us how are you doing.
poster:kara lynne
thread:238884
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030626/msgs/238891.html