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Re: No, you're not.

Posted by kara lynne on June 24, 2003, at 21:58:59

In reply to Re: No, you're not. » kara lynne, posted by Dinah on June 24, 2003, at 21:24:56

Thank you dinah. I feel so vulnerable after pushing that send button sometimes.

I recently heard someone speak about death the second way you describe it. Then someone amended it to say that at least you are relieved of your fear while reflecting back on every moment of your life.

I guess I mean this feels like a death, a huge grief-y loss. It is that raw pain. I just can't focus on anything. It's hard to imagine that I will ever not feel this badly-- the trap of depression as well.

I have had therapy but not in recent years, and I don't think it was such good therapy to begin with. Right now it's all I can do to get myself to the market--really, I can't get there. I went two days ago but now I have nothing left (still no refrigerator to keep anything in anyway) and I just don't care. I know I have to push myself. I know I have to take care of myself. But right now I just don't want to. I just want to sleep.

I don't know who will be taking this test I'm supposed to have on Saturday because I have checked out. I really will have to rely on forces greater than myself, which I don't believe in much right now. Thank you Dinah, I hope you're doing well.


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