Posted by Snoozy on May 7, 2003, at 15:14:54
In reply to somatic/neurologic/emotional, posted by Eddie Sylvano on May 7, 2003, at 9:48:15
I have both physical ailments and mood ailments. I don't know if I could really put a number on it. Sometimes the mood is worse, but many times the physical is worse than the mood.
This makes treatment difficult, because drugs that help one condition usually make another worse. I have to say, ok, what makes me feel least miserable and like I want to chop off my head? It makes me think of two little kids in the backseat on a long car trip: the depression is complaining it wants the window down, the migraines scream roll up the window, just back-and-forth pointless bickering.
Bright sunny days are excruciating to be outside on. It feels like the sun rays are just stabbing through my eyes and my head. My eyes start involuntarily tearing really badly and I want to go live with the mole people.
My mind is so disconnected sometimes I will dream I've told someone something or done something, and later something will happen to make me realize I didn't do it, it was a dream.
Memories of things like high school are weird. I remember things, but it's like I'm remembering something I saw in a movie - it doesn't feel like oh yes, I remember when this happened.
I always wonder if other people who grew up during the Cold War have had the same feeling I did. I was depressed as all get out, but I always believed I would never live to be 21 because there would be a nuclear war. So I might not have to bother with the fuss of suicide. And now it looks like we might have another little Cold War. Ah, sweet dreams of childhood.
I feel like I'm rambling here, but I've got this ice pick going through my head (metaphorically).
> Long before I ever began to even suspect that I had any type of psychiatric problem, I was plainly aware of physical symptoms. I'd be incredibly tired, shaky, flushed, and had constant stomach pains. This then spread into more "mental" domains, such as dizziness, sensory distortion, derealization, and general foggy-headedness. Only after many fruitless medical tests (for "physical" disorders) did I begin to associate it all with what had by then become a growing sense of apathy and deep sadness, and it was only after SSRI treatment alleviated almost all of my symptoms that I appreciated the connection. Overall, I'd say that the emotional side of my disorder accounted for maybe 10% of my symptomology. Nowadays, it seems to have smoothed out, with a nice 25/75 split between mood and physical/cognitive symptoms. Still, mood is the least of my problems (though as my last post suggests, it's not trivial).
> Most of the issues I see people writing about here are mood related. Does anyone else feel predominantly physical (or sensory) problems? What's your split?
poster:Snoozy
thread:224830
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030506/msgs/224913.html