Posted by Krysti on December 7, 2002, at 17:09:37
Hi,
I have a friend that I'm not sure I want to be friends with anymore. After what I've been through though (with being Bipolar), I feel like a bad person for dumping her as a friend. Friends are supposed to support each other even through the hard times. I wanted to hear other people's opinions on this.
She's been my friend for 6 years now and she can be a very good person, but she also can be very manipulative and a lyar to try to get what she wants or to make you feel sorry for her. As far as I know, she does not have any form of mental illness.
She has a 9 year old child and has not held down any kind of job for longer than a couple of months since I've known her. Most of the time she doesn't work at all. She has every excuse in the book not to work. At first it was because daycare was too expensive, then it was this, then it was that, now it's because she has a problem with her hip. She has pins in it now that she was supposed to get removed 2 years ago. It has made her hip even worse because they are still in there and honestly, I think she hasn't gotten them removed so she can keep having an excuse to not work. She lives off other people (right now living with her mom). She does nothing to help herself and blames everything bad in her life on other people. I have really lost all respect for her.
She married someone last year after knowing him for 4 months. Within a year, he left her, but they were still talking. A couple of weeks ago, she told me she was pregnant. A couple of days later she told me she was thinking of having an abortion. Now, just a couple of nights ago, she told me she had a miscarriage on her birthday (which was the same day she told me she was pregnant). So, for 2 weeks now she has been lying to me about being pregnant and telling me she was thinking of having an abortion when she already had a miscarriage (?). Honestly, I don't even think she ever was pregnant, I think she just made it up to try to get her husband back.
Anyway, I know she is going through hard times, but really, what is the point of being friends with someone if it you are not even going to be honest with them. I've dealt with this from her for 6 years now and have tried to tell her I don't like the lying. You know, if she doesn't want to tell me certain things, she doesn't have to, but don't make things up.
What's your opinion on this? Is it bad of me to just tell her I don't want to be friends with her anymore? Or do you think I should stick by her and try to help her out? In my opinion, you can't help someone who doesn't help themself and she doesn't seem to do that. She just wants to keep having pity parties for herself. Also, if your opinion is to not be friends with her anymore - how far into it do I go into explaining why? Should I just lay it all out about how I feel about the last 6 years or say as little as possible to not hurt her feelings?
If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading : ) Any opinions would be greatly appreciated.
Krysti
poster:Krysti
thread:33057
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021206/msgs/33057.html