Posted by Rach on December 7, 2002, at 19:26:02
In reply to Question about friendship - need opinions, posted by Krysti on December 7, 2002, at 17:09:37
It's a hard one. Be loyal to a friendship of 6 years, or walk away?
Is there an inbetween option you could attempt first? Like maybe talk to her - even print out your post and give it to her if you think you may get tangled trying to explain your position to her. Tell her that you are sick of the lying and manipulation. Tell her that you want to remain her friend, but that she makes it so difficult with all her deception. Tell her that you want to help her, but you can't until she realises she has a problem and wants to help herself. Perhaps she isn't even acutely aware of how manipulating she is, or that you have a problem.
I doubt that she will change immediately. It will probably be a long process where she makes mistakes and reverts to her old ways. But maybe it will be enough to keep the friendship intact.
One thing I see, though, is that you can't do nothing. You cannot remain friends with her while she remains as she is. My belief is that you should explain everything to her. It will give her a chance to change and save the friendship. If not, at least she knows where you stand and that you didn't quit the friendship on a whim. If she makes no attempt to change, or admit she has a problem, then I say walk away. Very hard to do, I know, but surely you have enough on ytour plate with BP without the added burden of a 'friend' who isn't truly a friend.
Sorry for the ramble! Hope that made some sense.
Rachael
poster:Rach
thread:33057
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021206/msgs/33059.html