Posted by gabbi on August 6, 2002, at 15:54:02
In reply to ...a Deflated Dinah with company (long) not sorry, posted by gabbi on August 6, 2002, at 14:46:14
I read those tips, and they certainly are good.
And I've occasionally restrained myself from jumping into others battles. Its really difficult though, because I have felt so especially supported here by Dinah, and you Tabitha,dreamer Sandra, Judy, well so many that if I see someone saying anything that indirectly criticizes you by mentioning "lack of caring" I feel an obligation to respond. Even if its not aimed at me.
How can someone put themselves on the line for a person repeatedly, and pretend not to be hurt when they get a smack. And probably wouldn't have gotten the smack if they hadn't put themselves out in the first place. I'm certainly not advocating retribution, or arguing, but why not be allowed to say that was a very hurtful remark?
pardon "that remark made me feel hurt"No one here expects to be rewarded for reaching out, but to have someone say things which can be easily taken as unkind, and then not be able to express your own feelings, is like being punished, and its unrealistic. Yes I've lashed out in anger, but fully expect to 'reap the rewards' its almost an insult if I don't.
In that way I'd be hurt and feel patronized, "well you know Gabbi, she has some problems she can't help it"
I don't think its really possible to say anything without the possibility of someone feeling hurt or put down.
(within limits)I've said I'm a vegetarian, (not here) and had people suddenly assume I think I'm superior, even though I'm the kind of person who would myself eat meat when invited to someone's house, just to be polite, and not say a word.
And stating how one feels is the only way anything could ever be resolved isn't it?Just another questiony rant!
Gabbi-Gabbi
poster:gabbi
thread:28167
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020804/msgs/28182.html