Posted by akc on November 8, 2001, at 10:19:35
In reply to Cutting... Can anyone identify? What does it mean?, posted by kid_A on November 8, 2001, at 9:07:59
kid_A
I've done my fair share -- and for me it was/is always a way to escape the mental pain I am feeling. I focus so much on the act of cutting, I detach from all else that is going on, including the mental anguish. It is the closest I come to dissociating.
I haven't done it for about 9 months now, and hope to never do so again -- but I don't know if that will be the case. For me, it replaced alcohol as a pain reliever. I simply traded one addiction for another, in my opinion.
And of course, the relief I get is temporary -- followed by a lot of shame. I mean, really, how crazy do you have to be to cut -- at least that is how I always look at it afterwords.
I have read a lot of stuff on cutting. Probably A Bright Red Scream by Marilee Strong is one of the better books on the subject. I even belonged to an email list for awhile a couple of years ago -- you could probably find it pretty quick by doing some searches on the net for cutting. I gave it up because it was too "young" for me and most there seemed to want to continue to self-harm. However, it did help me feel less alone -- when I was first doing it, I felt even crazier because I couldn't imagine anyone else ever wanting to do this.
Anyway -- I do identify. What does it mean? It means you are in a lot of pain -- and it is just a way to cope. And it works.
akc
poster:akc
thread:13645
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011105/msgs/13654.html