Posted by shelliR on July 21, 2001, at 23:30:41
In reply to Incredible Shelli..., posted by judy1 on July 21, 2001, at 4:28:02
> Sorry to interrupt your conversation but that description fits me to a tee. And there have been several therapists who have described me as acting 'child-like' around them, do you get that also? They were the only ones I ever felt like there was transference occurring, the rest I've seen I never felt that, even though some were very kind to me. So I guess I really believe in this phenomenom, and particularly in countertransference. Do you think this is related in anyway to childhood abuse? I don't remember any particular passages in the book we were discussing, but I haven't read it in a couple of years. Take care- judyHi Judy. No interruption at all; I love tossing around ideas with you.
I don't know if the attachment has always to do with abuse, per say. I guess I imagine that it would have to do with not getting something that every child needs from a parent. And I'm more inclined to say something from the mother, although I'm not sure on that one. I think it has to do with missing quite early in life the unconditional love and protection of the mother. Obviously if one is abused, one has not been protected by the mother, but emotional neglect probably would leave quite a hole also.
I would say that up until this therapist, my therapists have also gotten quite attached to me, but only once really crossing boundaries, and that was a male therapist when I was twenty. I chose my current therapist because she had once been my therapist in the hospital and she is incredibly smart and very direct. She is not very maternal. I had had very maternal therapists and what I learned was no matter how much a therapist gave me as an adult, it still didn’t touch the hole that I have inside, or the ache, in any permanent way. I'm really glad I did therapy with such maternal women because I was given the opportunity to learn that that was not going to be the solution for me. So I decided to try someone who would help me focus on goals and push me to get there.
Although she is not maternal toward me, she is very parental in terms of being very opinionated about things and sort of at times treating me like she is much wiser than me. And in general she is very wise, but there are areas in which I fight her very hard, with all my adult intelligence, because I think she should respect my judgment more. So I am a mixture of child and adult in there, and actually that is how I feel inside. Very very adult in some aspects of my thinking, and very childlike in my longing.
Shelli
poster:shelliR
thread:7541
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010717/msgs/7731.html