Posted by kid47 on May 9, 2001, at 12:39:34
In reply to psychosis and existential stuff, posted by bergamot on May 8, 2001, at 17:08:02
Hi. Had to jump in here. This is a very interesting thread. My therapy too has been inadequate. Existential issues, for whatever reason, seem to me to be at the heart of my illness. The therps I have talked to seem to basically ignore this & want me to deal mainly with the day to day process of functional living. Granted this is important but if I were to somehow rectify my core issues, I believe everything else would fall into place.
I am constantly plagued with concerns about what we (humans) really are. Are we basically just a developed organism that is directed by chemical reactions& electrical impulses? Obviously this question has been asked many times before, hence (along with a bunch of other reasons) the development of religion. I too have a spiritual void which I know makes things harder for me to deal with. I want terribly to allow myself to put my life in the hands of a higher power as I am so tired of trying to figure it out on my own. I am an electrical engineer. I have a good grasp of physics. My life has revolved around "bullet proof" theories & empirical investigation. It is extremely diificult for me to accept anything on faith alone. I have read several articles that set out to "scientifically" reinforce the teachings in the Bible, but it still requires a significant leap of faith to accept.
I am amazed by what occurs in nature. At times I can almost convince myself that there MUST be some supreme force directing or at least initially triggering this incredible chain of events called creation. I feel good when I am thinking this, but inevtiably the more harsh "realities" of what science truly can prove begins to influence the "logical" mind.
Some say believing in a higher authority is a choice. But how do you make it? I go to church. I have gone to more liberal religious gatherings also, but it all feels alien & hypocritical to me. I have explored alternative spiritual teachings but I just don't get it. They say fear is a great motivator. True. But do I have to become so desperate & afraid that I will convince myself that an all powerful creator is watching over us in this life & the next.(& that there is a next!) That doesn't strike me as the basis for a good relationship on any level.
Sorry this has become such a novel. It is hard for me to get a handle on my true feelings about this & articulate them. It's more of a gut feeling-so I tend to ramble. I have made significant strides in the last several months dealing with my illness. This issue of "what are we, why are we here?" is someting I truly need to address. I guess I should be thankful that I am finally to a point where I have the state of mind to even consider this stuff. Any input, ideas, opinions, advice would sure be welcome. TIA
Kid
> I'm interested in this thread, but it may take me a while to get my thoughts together into something coherent.
>
> Doo, you mentioned something about becoming psychotic--I'm diagnosed with "psychosis not otherwise specified", so I guess I'm officially psychotic. One thing that I've been thinking about recently is how much "psychosis" is culturally determined.
>
> For example, if I (or perhaps more importantly, my psychiatrist) were a Buddhist, would the thoughts that come to me about the nature of reality be considered correct and indicative of progress along the path?
>
> Can you tell more about the type of therapy you're entering? Is it for "existential" issues? I haven't gotten anywhere with the therapists I've been to, but that may have been because my diagnosis at the time was depression and what they thought would be my "issues" weren't.
poster:kid47
thread:5880
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010417/msgs/5916.html