Posted by Noa on October 23, 2000, at 17:21:17
In reply to Re: Guilt about depression - to Noa, posted by coral on October 23, 2000, at 7:42:46
The "I know just how you feel" line is one of the worst! In casual conversation, among people who are not in real distress, it is a way of connecting. But when talking to someone in real distress, it just sends the message that not only do they NOT know how you feel, but they are completely CLUELESS about what you are dealing with.
I think, for the purpose of taking care on oneself, it is helpful to identify which friends/family members ARE able to provide needed support. Then there will be the ones who are reliable as distractions from distress, but you really can't confide in them. Sometimes, the ones who disappoint you with lines like "I know just how you feel", you can wait until you are doing better and then, if the friendship is worth it, talk to them about this. It might just be a matter of education. I wouldn't think it is a great thing to try while one is in the midst of depression, crisis, distress, because you have to be able to deal with the discussion, so leaving it to when you are more stable is probably a good idea.
But, then, try to have a realistic sense of the people in your life and what you can expect from them.
poster:Noa
thread:1090
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1516.html